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thegreat2353 · 7 months ago
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Real question do the Sabres media team ever take a break-
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maxtermind · 4 months ago
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SCENE 2 :: HOW MUCH TRAGEDY ↳ you were never not mine — carlos sainz ༉‧₊˚✧
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★ : pairing :: carlos sainz x reader ★ : genre :: angst; fluff separated by a hidden emotional turmoil, carlos and y/n navigate the complexities of co-parenting their twins amidst the high-stakes f1 world. amidst paddock visits and personal healing, will they go further apart or find their way back to each other? ★ : a/n :: text posts are going to return from tom till then you can enjoy this<3 taglist form is in the series masterlist btw!! HATS OFF TO EVERY SINGLE SMAU WRITER BECAUSE THIS IS SO HARD LMAO
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( series masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request )
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carlos is typing... (y/n's pov)
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f1 10 mins ago
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f1 LET'S GET THE EUROPEAN LEG OF THE SEASON STARTED! 🇮🇹
username oh the admin knows what they did with carlos at the front lmao username can't wait for the races! let's goooo! 🇮🇹🏁 username so excited for this leg of the season! bring it on! 🤩 username hoping for some amazing races! good luck to all the drivers! 🙌 username here for the racing, not y/n’s drama ⤷ username ugh yes like can we focus on racing and not y/n’s drama? username italy, here we come! forza ferrari! ❤️ ⤷ username poor carlos, dealing with y/n’s drama and still racing username ready for some intense racing action! 🏎🔥 username who else is here for the drama? carlos and y/n's relationship update please! 😂 ⤷ username i hope carlos and y/n figure things out. it was so nice seeing her at the race again
yn.user 20 mins ago
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yn.user behind every successful man is his loving fam❤️ congratulations papa sainz
username this is a joke, right? after all the drama? lilymhe wow such a hottie and a MOM? smash! ⤷ yn.user date and time🙏 ⤷ alexalbon uhm... im right here? username weren't you just out with another man? hypocrite ⤷ username loving fam? like she didn't just get caught with another guy? 😂 username wow, pretending everything is fine now? ⤷ username guess she's trying to clean up her image good luck with that username this is so fake everyone knows the truth username acting like a loving family after everything? sure, y/n ⤷ username like who the fuck are you fooling, y/n? we know the real story username you're so pretty, y/n! i bought the tickets just to see you irl username didn't take long for the fake posts to start
carlossainz 20 mins ago
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carlossainz victory feels even sweeter with my kids by my side!🏆❤️
username congrats, carlos! the kids are your ONLY real supporters. username so glad you’re focusing on the kids and not the drama. ⤷ username victory without y/n? this is peak comedy😭 ⤷ username way to go, carlos! the kids are all you need! username finally, a win focused on the right people. congrats, carlos! username oh god we really lost the great war huh username great win, carlos! the kids must be so proud. ⤷ username this is the content we love. kids over drama! username well done! no need for distractions we're so proud❤️ ⤷ username the kids are his real mvps so lol username congrats, carlos! the kids are your biggest fans.
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boo is typing... (y/n's pov)
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lily is typing… (y/n's pov)
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yn.user 20 mins ago
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yn.user as my boys said: finally a worthy opponent✨
username this is why some people shouldn't have kids. username she's a mess. no wonder they broke up ⤷ username using her kids for attention. disgusting! carlossainz so you're also bad at scrabble? ⤷ username oh shit carlos didn't come to play ⤷ username you tell her carlos!! username no stability for those poor kids with her around. ⤷ username kids must be so confused with a new man every week username pathetic attempt to make carlos jealous. GROW UP, Y/N!!!
carlos is typing… (y/n's pov)
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©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.
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madridfangirl · 4 months ago
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Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)
Chapter 7
(Series Link)
Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.
Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?
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.............................................................................................
Wednesday morning started off on a foul note for Jude. The team landed after a red eye flight & below is what he saw at 6:30 am. 
Ananya: Heyy. Listen, I am so sorry but I can’t make it tonight. NY office just got back and we have tons more to do. All hands on deck. Will be MIA most of today & tmrw. Hope you put something on your bruises. Take care & see ya soon! 
He groaned in frustration. Yesterday had been horrible & he was really looking forward to seeing her tonight. It was his primary motivation to get through the day. But the universe seemed to be conspiring against him.
He stayed in a pissy mood for a bit but sanity prevailed some time later. 
Jude: Heyy, it’s fine. Work is work. Go kick some ass. Lemme know if you get done soon ya?
His message remained unseen till 10:30 pm. She hadn’t come online. He knew, since he had checked more than a few times.
He was about to crash when his phone buzzed.
Ananya: Still in office. Will be a long night. How was your day?
He perked up immediately & grabbed his phone. 
Jude: Talk for a few mins?
Ananya: In conference room with folks, can’t step out.
Deflated, he fell back on the bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. All he needed was some attention from her tonight. For her to fuss over him like she had done yesterday. But alas. 
Jude: Day was ok I guess. Debriefed on the game, lads were being extra nice which was irritating but had a good chat with Boss. How was yours?
Ananya: Hectic, but this deal is so cool it’s blowing my mind.
Jude smiled for the first time today. Her ambition & drive was relatable. Admirable. And so so attractive. 
Ananya: Ok gotta go now. Ciao.
And just like that, his smile faded. 
Jude: Ciao. Eat something. C ya soon!
He twisted & turned in bed a few times. Finally, exhaustion took over and he drifted off to sleep.
Next day was worse, if that was even possible.
He again woke up irritated. The UK tabloids were going to run a trashy story about him & some girl. His team had been contacted for comments & the decision was to not entertain them at all. The story could drop any time now - that was the heads-up he had gotten.
Great, just what he needed.
The message that he wanted to see was not there. Not a single peep from Ananya. He scrolled through the previous messages, re-reading some. And then he froze.
She was going to see the article too. 
Such gossip pieces on him were not uncommon but he mostly ignored them earlier. As did his team. 
But this time, it was different. Because of her. 
He had to get ahead of the situation.
Jude: Morning dove. I know you are busy. Quick heads up - you may see a tabloid piece today about my ‘girlfriend’. It’s all bull ok? I will explain when we talk. 
Burying himself with work seemed like the best solution today. He went extra hard in the gym, pushing himself more, & then some. Letting his irritation be sucked out through sweat and sore muscles.
He was extra feisty in training, didn’t joke around & was super competitive in duels, earning all the applause of the coaching staff and some jeers from his teammates.
Cama and Vini teased him about his new girlfriend who he was apparently smitten by - the article was splashed all over social media by now. He evaded them after engaging in some superficial locker room banter.
Still no reply from her, even though she had seen the first message. 
Jude: (Link) - This is what I was referring to. Like I said, it’s bull. How’s your day going?
When the messages were still unread after 2 hours, he started getting jittery. And did something he wouldn’t have done had he been thinking with a clear head.
He called her, knowing fully well she was dying at work today.
The number was unreachable. He tried again. Same message.
The jitters got stronger. Of the zillion things he was capable of doing to mess this up, this shouldn’t have been it.
It was one of those moments when the house looked emptier. Felt lonelier. He missed his home in Birmingham. He wished his mom were here with him.
She had called him earlier today to check on him, & could tell something was off in his voice. She didn’t push, knowing that he wanted to be left to his own devices.
Boy, he could do with her hug right now.
It was 8:30 pm. He had done everything he could for the day. There was nothing else to busy himself with. His friends from the team were all otherwise occupied tonight. He had no other real, normal friends in the city - ones he trusted/liked enough to hang out with. 
He didn’t wanna talk to his Birmingham friends either - didn’t wanna bring up the article or the match. Wanted to block those out. Jobe was busy with his training too. 
So he gulped his dinner while watching some random episodes of The Great British Bake Off. Something that used to be a family ritual back home.
Still no word from her. It was 10 pm.
It wasn’t fair. He hated feeling this restless. That’s why he stayed away from the complications of attachments - too much fucking drama that he absolutely didn’t need in his life right now. As if the pressures on him weren’t enough already.
His treacherous messed up self didn’t comply with his brain though.
Jude: Don’t overthink this. Talk to me once.
10:30 pm. Still nothing. 
He was about to get up from his couch & drag himself to bed, when he saw the blue ticks started coming on her chat. She hadn’t blocked him then?
He grabbed his phone & dialled her number, shoving his pride aside. She picked up in two rings.
‘Heyyyy Judeyyy.’
She slurred on the line. Jude was stunned. Was this for real? 
He channelled all his inner calmness - wanting to get the facts first.
‘Ananya - are you drunk?’
‘Siiii. We just downed half a bottle of tequila in three sixty minutes. No thirty-six. I meant thirty-six mins.’
He took a few deep breaths, as she giggled on the line. 
‘Tell me where you are. I am picking you up.’
‘I am in a moving car - how will you pick me up from a moving car?’
‘What the fuck do you mean you are in a car? Who are you with? And why the fuck are you drinking in a car?’
He lost his patience despite his best efforts.
‘Yikes why the screaming? Hurting my ears Jude. So rude. Heyyy, that rhymed.’
He nearly pulled out a few of his flawlessly trimmed hair in frustration. When he spoke next, he broke up each word like he was talking to a child.
‘One step at a time yeah? Send me your live location.’
She managed to do that after a few failed attempts. Relief flooded over him when he saw she wasn’t too far from her home & on the right route.
‘Good girl. Now, are you alone, or is someone with you?’
‘I am in a limo. A black limo. Like in the movies. Can you believe it?’
‘That’s great. Not what I asked though. Is someone with you, Ananya?’
‘Roma. But she’s passed out. Wait let me see again? Yup - passed out.’
‘Was it such a smart thing to drink so much that you pass out in the back of a car? When you are alone?’
‘Hey, she passed out. Not me. Pls - my capacity is legendary. Ask me the square root of 1576 & I'll tell you.’
He was amused but had to remind himself that he was still mad. 
‘Where were you today?’
Somehow, from her broken sentences, he gathered that the MD of their team lived on the outskirts of Madrid and there was a presentation of the final work at his mansion today. It was his limos that were dropping the team home. And the girls found the tequila in the car & just went for it after the grueling last 48 hours of work.
He also understood that her phone was on airplane mode most of the day. So she hadn’t seen his messages. Hadn’t seen the article either. 
Suddenly, there was some commotion on the line.
‘Roma is hitting me to talk to you. Putting you on speaker.’
‘Heyyy lover boyyyy - finally.’
This time he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
‘Well hello to you too.’
‘You should know that you owe me. I convinced Ananya to go to the match. And, most importantly, I convinced her to GO WITH YOU after the match.’
‘Oh, I thought she came because of me. How sad.’
‘A little coz of you. But mostly it was me.’
‘I see. Then I definitely owe you one, Roma.’
‘Remember that when I ask for signed jerseys of the WHOLE TEAM. And Zidane. And of course our one true love Ronaldo.’
‘Ahh you too.’
‘Of course, we share a common love. But Ananya loves him more.’
‘Believe me, I know.’
The car swerved to their street soon after, stopping outside their apartment building.
‘Girls, focus now, ya? - watch your step, go inside, lock the door. Ananya - call me after. I am waiting.’
‘Sir yes sir.’
‘Byeee lover boyyyyy.’
Jude groaned as they hung up - staring at the phone for it to ring again. Praying that they don’t trip & fall on their assess. 
The wait was excruciating. He got to his room, changed into his sleeping shorts, paced around, still nothing. How fuckin irresponsible. Finally, after 13 long mins, she called.
‘What took you so long?’
‘Code wasn’t working. Had to call neighbors to buzz us in.’
‘Wasn’t working or you forgot it?’
‘Pretty sure it wasn’t working.’
He shook his head & let it go, understanding how it was a lost cause. 
Then he started blurting out some instructions to her like ‘re-check the door’, ‘grab some water’, ‘tell me you ate something before drinking’ etc.
Ananya followed them diligently, and the slurring reduced as the liqueur settled down. Still quite out of it, but he could hear the girl he knew in there.
Knowing she was safe now, his mood improved, and her antics even started looking cute. 
‘Facetime?’
It felt like forever since he had seen her last. Held her last. 
When he finally laid eyes on her, all his frustration & anxiety of last two days started to evaporate.
‘Hey you.’
She waved back happily, snuggled into her pillow, still in her work clothes. All dopey from the alcohol. 
‘If I fall asleep on you tonight, don’t take it personally. Haven’t slept in 2 days.’
‘But you kicked ass though didn’t ya? 
Her face brightened, despite the exhaustion.
‘Kinda did.’
‘Knew it. Proud of ya.’
He really was. She could tell. She was starting to learn how to read his bright, expressive, goofy eyes. Tonight, they were deep & sincere. And a little anxious.
‘How’s your mood now?’
20 minutes ago he would have had a very different answer. 
‘Now? All fine, dove.’
She was about to tease him, call him cheesy & sickly sweet but he doubled down with his big brown doe eyes.
‘Missed you.’
Again, the sincerity hit her square in her heart. Throwing her off guard. He seemed different tonight. Vulnerable. The trademark blend of cocky flair & casual nonchalance not at the forefront. 
‘Missed you too.’
She sighed, as her eyes fluttered shut. Not that she had had much time for any active thought the last few days. But seeing him like this just reminded her how much she was looking forward to meeting him last night.
As she gathered herself, he took in her surroundings. The baby pink pillows amused him the most; somehow he hadn’t associated that with her. 
‘Can’t believe this is how I get to see your bedroom. On FaceTime.’
He didn't realize he had said it out loud. She giggled at his groans, batting her eyelashes at him. The vixen.
‘Yeah? What else did you have in mind?’
Jude shifted uncomfortably in the sheets. 
‘Don’t tease. Not tonight.’
‘When’s a good time, then?’
‘When I am in touching distance of you, tease away, by all means.’
‘I am not stupid, Jude.’
‘Never thought you were, dove.’
Challenging each other was kind of becoming their thing. Neither liked backing down & both loved the dynamic.
But she was tired. Ready to drop dead anytime.
‘Gimme 2. Need to change out of these.’
‘Cool, I’ll stay here.’
She placed the phone on the bed. Then, on second thoughts, she covered the phone with her blanket. Suddenly, his screen was filled with baby pandas.
‘Seriously? I was facing the ceiling, what was I gonna see?’
‘Don’t trust you & your peripheral vision.’
Jude groaned audibly, facing the disorienting pandas, starting to seriously dislike the otherwise adorable creatures.
He could hear her bouncing around her room, humming something in a foreign tongue, heels clicking on the floor. Still quite buzzed, clearly.
And then, a loud thump.
‘What happened? You ok?’
‘Zipper got stuck in heels. Knocked over a carton. Am fine.’
Jude turned & buried his face in the pillow, trying very hard to drown out the thoughts of what she was doing right now.
He couldn’t afford to let himself wander, since they hadn’t yet discussed the matter at hand.
But it was hard, he nearly bit the pillow to rein himself in. 
That’s how she found him when she returned in her tank top. The same one she had on that night, when he kissed her. Great.
‘What’s with you?’
She eyed him curiously, and he recovered quickly, game face back on.
‘Need to talk about something.’
‘Go on.’
Something had shifted in the environment. In him. Putting her on the edge.
Ripping off the band-aid quickly seemed like the best strategy to him.
‘A tabloid piece came out today about me & a girl, saying she is my girlfriend and we have been dating for 2 months. Which is not true. Never dated her. No idea how they came up with this. Wanted to give you a heads-up. Sent you the link in chat earlier today.’
He got it all out quickly. Then zeroed in on her face to gauge her reaction.
Her face had hardened like she was preparing for something unpleasant. Expressions too neutral, too blank for his liking. Almost cold. A more agitated reaction would have been less unsettling.
Ananya had a feeling it was something like this. The shield was up. Plus she was too spent to give any kind of outward reaction. 
She replayed his words in her head, and read through the article, while he waited patiently.
Her insta feed was also full of this now. This was everywhere. She found the ID of the woman and clicked on her profile.
‘She is pretty.’
This was not the first thing he had expected to hear. But he had the good sense to know that no response was the best response. Both confirmation and denial would have been scoffed at. 
‘You say you didn’t date her, but you do know her, right? Didn’t hear you deny that.’
Her tone was matter-of-fact, business-like. As if she was slicing & dicing a work project.
‘Yes. I do.’
‘Elaborate.’
‘Met her through insta. Liked some pics of each other. Chatted on DM. Then, met in person. Once.’
‘When?’
‘Two months ago.’
So the article had gotten at least something right.
‘Slept with her?’
Both were surprised by her cutting to the chase like this. The alcohol had lowered her inhibitions significantly plus she wasn't in the mood to entertain any nonsense.
‘Yes.’
‘Why only once?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Why not again? She is pretty.’
‘Umm…she is not from here.’
That wasn’t a good answer, he knew it the moment he said it. It wasn’t the complete truth either. But the damage was done.
‘Any exchanges after?’
‘Not from me.’
The unsaid hung heavily in the air. She chose to not address it. 
Mindlessly, she kept scrolling through the girl’s profile and the details in the article, not wanting to say anything more immediately. Not wanting to look at him, while his eyes were glued to her face throughout. 
Eventually, he couldn’t handle the silence & spoke softly.
‘Remember, this was in the past. Nothing has happened since we met. Nothing will happen.’
The deep baritone was back, trying to lull her into a sense of security. 
She smiled wryly. If only it were that simple to believe. If only her mind was not filled with images of him frolicking at his home with this woman, as was so definitively stated in the article. 
He felt the chasm widening between them, pulling her further away.
Some core truths, albeit crude, needed to be said out loud now. 
‘Ananya - I’ve never lied to you. Never not answered anything you threw my way. Never painted a false picture of my lifestyle. We’ve discussed these encounters before. Yes this put a face to it & I get it’s hard. But that doesn’t change the fact that I was single, and both consenting adults always knew it was just sex, nothing more.’
Her eyes shot up at him at the last line, which he was expecting. But he stood his ground.
‘I can see you are judging me hard, and them too. Look…’
She cut him off sharply.
‘THEM? Who are they to me? Why should I judge women I don’t know anything about?’
‘And me?’
‘YOU? I am TRYING to understand you. Your DECISIONS. It is NOT EASY. Not something I ever imagined dealing with.’
‘I get it.’
He really did. She didn’t hear what he said though, still stuck on his previous words.
‘And THEM? Seriously how many are there? How many such GIRLFRIENDS should I be prepared for?’
He blanked & panicked simultaneously. How was he supposed to answer that? Thankfully, she intervened.
‘You know what? Scratch that. Don’t answer that, I don’t ever wanna know. I don’t care.’
She jerked her face away, trying to compose herself.
But he couldn’t stop staring at her. The usually calm, jovial features a picture of irritation & exhaustion right now. The need to hold her close & comfort her paralyzed him.
‘Can we do this in person? I can be there in 20-25 mins.’
‘NO.’
It was a firm, decisive no. Leaving no scope for discussion. He figured it was also her showing him he wasn’t just gonna get his way with her, that she wasn’t like the others. 
But he knew that already. That’s what had fascinated him so about her. She was unlike anyone he had been with before. How he wished she could see that too.
For the first time, the silence between them was not comfortable. Or comforting. 
The silence was interrupted by constant pings on her phone - two calls followed by a few messages. He saw her eyes go wide as she focused on the screen.
It was 12 am. Jude had a sinking feeling who it could be from. Last two days, he had really behaved himself. Despite knowing she would have spent every waking minute at work around that insufferable colleague of hers. Sticking to her like a leech. Pinging her at odd times. 
But, in a grand display of restraint, Jude hadn't uttered a word to her. It was her work after all. 
‘Jude I’m gonna need two mins.’
She muttered urgently, getting up from the bed.
‘I will stay online if that’s ok.’
‘Fine.’
She was already out the door, leaving the phone, leaving him behind.
Jude found himself facing the ceiling of her room again. Seriously, what the fuck just happened? Could this day get any more rotten?
She returned in a minute. He could hear her but not see her yet. Bile rose in his throat when he realised who she was talking to.
‘Hey Arjun, yes I found it. It’s with me now. Thank you so much for letting me know, this could have gone anywhere. You are a lifesaver.’
A pause for a few seconds, in which Jude plotted getting that cockroach permanently banned from the Bernabeu (Ananya had mentioned how big a fan he was), and then her voice again. Filled with genuine gratitude. Jude wanted to puke. 
‘Yeah all good, thanks again. Good night, see you tmrw.’
If her intent was to hurt Jude, then someone should hand her the Balon d’or immediately.
Ananya hung up, came back to the bed, and realized her phone was not on mute. She couldn’t find it in herself to care though, not right now.
‘All ok?’
Jude would have put monks to shame at the evenness he was able to muster in his voice.
‘Roma was drunk-texting on our work group. Some questionable stuff. Hv deleted the texts, will keep her phone tonight. Glad Arjun alerted me.’
And just like that, evenness went out the window. Replaced with sarcasm, laced with disdain.
‘How sweet of him, what a gentleman.’
Ananya turned the full force of her glare at Jude, which he met head on. Fire dancing in both their eyes. 
‘Would you GROW UP? Not everything is about you. And yes, he IS a gentleman. Your petulance will not change that.’
‘A FUCKIN TWAT is what he is. Always interrupting us. Always trying to cozy up to you. Even when he doesn’t have a shot. Classic small-dick energy. Quite fuckin LITERALLY in his case.’
Ananya could punch him through the screen. The insufferable, entitled, derisive prick that he was being. So full of himself. He needed to be put in his place. 
‘Yeah? Maybe I should verify that.’
The bodyblow landed as intended. Making him double over with pain.
Jude felt like someone had kicked him in the gut and in the nuts at the same time. His throat went dry and his hands turned clammy.
The numbness hitting his brain, then his body. The rage dissipated & he realised he didn’t have a leg to stand on, given how they had gotten here tonight.
Plus she would never do the thing she hates the most. She would never cheat, he was convinced.
His tone went down several notches, as did his attitude.
‘I know you are angry. I know you didn’t mean it.’
‘Oh no - I really do want..’
‘ANANYA PLEASE. Please. Slap me if you want to, smack me all that you like but NOT THIS. Please.’
The distress in his choked voice made her stop. Knocking the fight out of her. 
Her voice lost its edge, coming out in a whisper.
‘A hypothetical scenario broke you. Whereas….you…..you have actually..’
She didn’t finish the sentence. But the message was well understood.
‘I know it’s unfair. Even hypocritical of me. But I can’t help it. Can’t handle even the idea of you with anyone else. I want all of you. All for me. All the time. I’d go nuts otherwise I swear.’
This moment, she saw a young, sensitive, insecure boy in Jude, not the mature, articulate, sorted, in-control grown man known to the world. 
She found it strangely healing; a distinct warmth seeping into her skin and settling into the pit of her stomach. 
It was 12:30. Two emotionally charged hours they had spent on the phone. Dead tired from work. Yet, the idea of hanging up & calling it a night never occurred to either. 
Just then, her doorbell rang, making her jump.
‘Don’t be alarmed. Answer it.’
She eyed him curiously, checking his background again. He was still in his bed. 
‘What did you do now?’
‘Answer the door & you’ll see.’
Huffing, she got out of bed & walked out. Leaving him facing the ceiling again. Third time that night.
When she came back, he finally saw a ghost of a smile on her lips. And the light returned to her gorgeous soft eyes.
She was still gazing at the bouquet, stroking & smelling with contentment.
‘White Tulips for dove. Thought it’d be fitting.’
‘Jude.’
She sighed deeply, and buried her head in the flowers, letting the strong scent drown her senses.
This was never going to be easy, she knew that from the start. But every time she got wobbly, he steadied her. Every time doubts pulled her away, he clawed his way back to her. Lack of effort was definitely not something she could hold against him. 
Maybe he means what he says. Maybe it is different for him this time.
She turned to look at his smiling face, still leaning on the flowers.
‘How did you even find these in the middle of the night?’
‘To be fair I ordered them in the evening, when I thought you blocked me.’
‘Blocked you?’
He just shrugged in response. Slightly embarrassed but trying to not show it.
She laughed at the absurdity of it all, and he finally let go too, letting himself relax. The sound of his little giggles bounced on her ears, doing things to her.
‘You are such a loon.’
‘Wanna be your loon.’
She was starting to melt now and wanted to arrest the fall. So she switched gears.
‘Tell me - what was the plan if I had blocked you?’
There had to be a plan. He wasn’t the kind to take things lying down. 
‘Cheesecake & churros from our cafe tmrw morning. Along with a letter stating how a 20-year-old boy has the same psychological maturity as a 15-year-old girl. Therefore you should cut me some slack given women are far smarter biologically and also coz you are you. I’m not saying it, science is. Facts.’
‘Reallyyyyy? So a 20 yr old boy lacks psychological maturity, but somehow that’s not a problem when he fucks half the world with impunity? What does science say about that? No disadvantage there?’
Jude’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, still trying to process how his attempted humour had backfired in about 50,000 ways.
To his credit, he recovered fast.
‘See? A smart person would not have walked into that hole like I did. Exhibit A of how dumb I am. This just proves my point.’
‘How come the world fawns over your intelligence & maturity then?
‘They don’t know me. It’s a scam. Trent says I should still be in diapers. He said that to Jobe once & the little scoundrel agreed.'
He had done it again. Pacified her without her even realising. Yeah, she wasn’t buying the dumb act. This boy knew his power & used it unabashedly, to his full advantage.
It was 1 am. She yawned while checking the time & Jude suddenly got hit by pangs of guilt.
He would let her go soon, just needed to hear one thing.
‘We ok? 
He barely blinked till she responded.
‘I guess so.’
She shrugged, realising she wasn’t mad anymore.
He figured that’s the best he would get tonight. But soon, when they are together, he’ll make up for this mess.
It was time to let her get some well deserved rest.
Jude leaned in, eyes firmly locked into hers, and kissed his phone screen. He had never done that for another girl before. But this one, she made him do this twice in a span of 2 days.
She followed his movement closely, meeting his gaze. Somehow feeling his lips brush her skin. 
‘End my misery and meet me soon?’
She nodded, and he flashed her a trademark ear-to-ear Jude smile. Crinkling eyes n all. Making her heart leap in her chest. 
‘Now go, get some rest. And since you won’t let me come over, hug the flowers instead when you sleep tonight. You’ll feel me around.’
‘Bye Jude.’
‘Bye dove.’
Goes without saying, she did hug the flowers as she slept that night. 
...............................................................................................
This chapter was very different in my head when I posted the previous one. But then, stuff happened the last few days & I felt like writing about it.
As always, would love to hear your thoughts / comments / feedback. Hope you are liking the story & these two, lots more to come :)
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landososcar · 6 months ago
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so high school ; JB5
pairing(s) ; jude bellingham x singer!reader , jude bellingham x student!reader
summary ; twitters favourite new(ish) artist drops her new album right during her school year.
warnings ; nothinggggg & mainly just fluff bc i love happy people
note ; SORRY ITS SHORT AHHAHA, i’ll post a new lando fic soon i just have no inspiration… ignore any dates that are wrong or don’t match - im lazy. also this is VERYYYY LOOSLY based off so high school lol (it’s mainly the aristotle line)
instagram !
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youruser surprise !!!!! as an end of term present (for myself🤭🥳) and in honour of knowing the loml for 15 years, here’s 15 new songs for you guys to (hopefully) enjoy 😊 noah, thank you for trusting me and letting me join you on what might be one of my favourite songs ever!! i loveeee youuuu. && to my jude<3 thank you for inspiring me every single day of our lives. i love you bigger than the whole sky 🩵🩵 (guys he’s actually v v talented and he helped me write scared of my guitar, hard to sleep, and feels like) j, you are my safe place and these songs — especially the ones i haven’t let you hear yet — are for you.
ps guys idk how to only write happy songs but jude is the only one who makes me feel safe enough to express my emotions through my songs 😁 i looooovvveee him and am NOT 🙅‍♀️ breaking up with him. he is stuck with me forever💞
‘the alchemy’ is YOURS tonight at midnight 💓
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user1 WHAT
user2 YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON US WTF
oliviarodrigo my girl💞💞 i’m so so soooo excited😭
user3 GIRL I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST CALL THE ALBUM ‘the alchemy’ FOR NO REASON. WHERE TF IS THE TITLE TRACK I KNOW YOUVE GOT HER SOMEWHERE
youruser jude and i love the alchemy the most out of all the songs and wanna keep her just ours for a little bit longer but maybe if you guys enjoy these songs i’ll let you have my baby
user4 YNAJDKJSKDKDIS
user5 WHATTTT songs did she not let jude hear omfg i need to know
youruser he’s heard them all except for daylight, paper rings & so high school lollll
judebellingham refreshing my spotify every minute til midnight you guys don’t understand she’s kept these songs in a VAULT
user6 jude i know you love spotify but apple music get new music 10 minutes early xxx
judebellingham just made an apple music account
user7 TEN MINS TIL THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR DROPS
taylorswift so so proud of you beautiful 🩷🩷
judebellingham I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
judebellingham putting ALLLL of these on the pre-game playlist
youruser babe idk if some of these will pump you up before a game
judebellingham hearing your voice will pump me up idc how sad the song is xx
user8 why’s no one talking about how she’s in UNIVERSITY and dropped a FIFTEEN song album like …??? she’s INSANE. WHERE did she find the TIMEEE
user9 not to mention she lives with him in madrid and does school online coz her uni is in the uk
user10 she’s insane i don’t understand how😭😭
imessages !
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instagram !
youruser just posted to their close friends story.
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twitter !
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instagram !
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liked by judebellingham, trentarnold66, and others
youruser surprised my fav person in the uk for his england game and he scored for me 😆🩵🩵
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user1 she wrote “you know how to ball” and he said “yeah” then scored a goal and did a celebration for her😭
user2 zoom in on pic 6 and you’ll see me laying on the road waiting to be run over
judbellingham ‘unemployed girlfriend’ but you’re the greatest singer on earth while also doing online uni full time and you still make time to be able to come see me
youruser it’s coz i love you so so bad
jobebellingham you make me sick
youruser i love u too jobeyyyyyy
england our favourite visitor💙💙
user3 how does she do all this whilst going to uni😭😭😭
oliviarodrigo 💖💖💖
judebellingham I LOVVVEEEE YOUUUUU
user4 i NEED the top in pic 8 where is it from
youruser i found it on depop and HAD to buy it😭😭 i think someone made it x
chappellroan HOTTTTT (you not ur bf)
youruser I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY WIFE💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
user5 i don’t understand how you write sad songs like the ones on your album if ur ‘in love with jude’
user6 jude deserves better than someone who’s so caught up on and still writes songs about her exes
user7 WHYS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS SHE POSTED ON TWITTER IM GOJNG INSANE
user8 LITERALLY?/!;!!/;@:8@ LIKE ??????? “WHERES THE TROPHY? HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME” IS SO JUDE CODED WHEN Y/N IS AT LITERALLY ANY OF HIS GAMES
user7 EXACTLYYYYY HE ALWAYSSS RUNS TO HER IMMEDIATELY AFTER HES ALLOWED TO DO HIS OWN THING. ITS FUCKING ADORABLE
user8 IM SO GLAD SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME
user7 were both insane let’s get married
user8 dm me right now wife
youruser liked the comments in this thread
imessages !
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youruser lol little life update coz i’ve been m.i.a. for the last almost two months. 1: i went blonde again. 2: my man still as fine as ever. 3: got engaged or whatever lol. 4: slaying up exams. 5: i miss tour so i decided imma come back and see you all soon 🤭🤭 tour dates soon <3
ps in honour of becoming fiance or whatever🤗 the alchemy and 4 other songs are yours on the deluxe version of ‘the alchemy’ ,, out tonight !!!
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user1 WHAT THE FUCK
user2 GIRL LET US BREATHE
harrykane juudddeeeeee!!! congrats🥳❤️
declanrice mr bellingham that is a ROCK
user3 SHE DISAPPEARED FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN CAME BACK AND DROPPED ALL OF RHAT ON HS
gracieabrams OMG WIFE IS GONNA BE A WIFE
user4 BLONDE YN IS BACK AND SHES A FIANCÉ OH MY GOD
judebellingham WIFE WIFE WIFE‼️‼️‼️
youruser not yet my love but so close🥰
judebellingham I CANT HEAR YOU MY WIFE IS AN ACADEMIC AND LYRICAL GENIUS
user5 she’s still writing break up and sad songs whilst engaged… so weird
user6 yeah and jude helps her,, he must be so disgusted right? seriously get a life and go touch grass
taylorswift so so happy for you 💓💓
youruser 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i love you
user7 TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR
england juddeeeeee💙 sooo happy for you two
trentarnold ❤️❤️❤️
user8 how girl just gonna casually drop a ENGAGEMENT announcement in the middle of a photo dump
user9 REALLLL LIKE THATS A BIG ASS RING TOO
noahkahanmusic YESSSSS🤍🤍🤍🤍
user10 HOWWWW is miss girl gonna find time in her schedule to do uni, make music, keep a healthy relationship, AND TOUR
judebellingham mrs*
my other works !
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adviceformefromme · 1 month ago
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Do you have any resources you would recommend regarding healing, & inner work? (Like YouTube, books etc)
Books that have changed my life:
Taming your inner child - Susan Anderson (this book taught me how to journal with my inner child which truly helps me to this day when I am feeling stuck or icky inside)
The Secret - Rhonda Byrne (full of positivity, so easy to read and helps shift my mindset from fear based thinking to expansive thinking based on love)
Return to Love - Marianne Williamson (this book truly changed my life, introduced me to the idea of God and surrender)
The Untethered Soul - Michael A Singer (introduced me to the ideas of spirituality and soul)
The Power of Now - Echartt Tolle (taught me about the tricks of the mind & power of meditation)
Youtube:
I grow a lot from listening to the interviews on Women of Impact - Lisa Bilyeu, I generally just search for what I'm healing on and each month there will be someone interesting I learn from which changes. But consistently I have loved the message of Sarah Jakes Roberts, her journey with overcoming shame and suffering has resonated with me a lot.
As I have been on my healing journey for over 10 years now, there are things that have been transformational and things that haven't...
Transformed my life!!
Forgiveness list. Learning about forgivness, forgiving those that hurt me, forgiving myself! I wrote a list of every single hurt in my life from as early as I could remember and went back and visualised myself giving me love in that moment and comforting the suffering version of myself to release the past. THIS HEALED. It cost me my time, and I did this over the course of a few months.
Spiritual Coach/ Mentor. Someone spiritual who can guide you, and direct you during your healing period is going to move you further along than you could ever imagine. This could be a spiritual mentor, someone from your community, or a specialised spiritual coach.
CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I got this free in the UK (don't believe the long wait list, that doesn't need to be your story). This truly allowed me to see how my past behaviours have been holding me hostage.
EFT - Emotional Freedom Tapping. I found a very affordable coach on Fivver, and started recently private sessions to clear out old wounds that are still showing up for me in relationships.
Building my relationship with God. I cannot tell you how this changed my life, not religion - but personal relationship with God. Listening to his direction on my life and taking steps has led me to so much peace and abundance.
Meditation. Learning to create peace in my mind. I started with 10 mins almost 10 years ago, I can now meditate for 1 hour.
Daily exercise, even if its 10 mins stretches. But presence is running - this CHANGED my life. Allowed energy to flow and renew my thinking even with as little as 10 mins on the treadmill.
Waste of my time:
Yoga retreats
Instagram Life coaches
New age spirituality - believing in the universe
Courses by femininity coaches
I hope this helps, please DM if you want more guidance!
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dulceackles · 4 months ago
Text
Ambivalent Part three- The crime
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Previous part: (x)
Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader
Warnings: angst, strong language, sex, violence, enemies to lovers, alcohol, all that. Mention of dead body, a little bit of horror. English is not my first language, so sorry for typos. Also, it is a Y/N, but I've created a background story and a fictional place around it for creative and storytelling reasons. Will not be describing exterior characteristics, tho!
Summary: Dean used to be really important to Y/N but ever since he suddenly left her without telling her why, she's been avoiding even mentioning him. Now, after years, he's back in town, but not because of her. There's a case. The only things she's certain is that she doesn't like him being back.
Word count: 4.1k
Y/N had left her apartment about 5 minutes ago. Joselyn and she had decided to meet up in front of the bar. Luckily the bar wasn't too far from her apartment but then again, nothing in Dimdale was that far.
Y/N: gonna be there in 10 mins!
She texted her friend. It was mid-spring, but the weather had been freezing for the past two weeks. Y/N wrapped her jacket tighter around her as a breeze of wind ran through her hair.
The streetlights flickered once, then twice. The streetlights had not been fixed in years. They were old and rusty, and it was not one bit surprising they lived a life of their own when it came to nighttime. A few citizens had made complaints about them to the mayor, but the reply was always the same; The electricity crisis is the most real thread this town has. We have to keep that in mind. By saving electricity and redirecting our funds carefully, we assure to postpone the catastrophic effects the crisis as it worsts could provide. Every time, every election, and always the same mayor. If you asked Y/N, she thought it was all bullshit. The town was broke, it was obvious. Lost of all founds to keep even the streetlight in order and apart from couple new apartment buildings, public park and a shopping center, everything in Dimdale was rotting in place. It was like a ghost town, yet the townies kept it alive. And the moving out rate was surprisingly low, it was like something just kept them there. A love for a familiar hometown, perhaps.
The light flickered again, and then suddenly all the yellow streams of light disappeared. The lights went off.
"Damn it." Y/N went through her handbag to find her phone to check the time. 10:53pm. It isn't even midnight yet, why the lights go off already? Y/N thought while continuing to walk. Luckily she had lived Dimdale her whole life, and she knew the roads like her own pocket even in the dark. She hoped Joselyn didn't have to wait on her. Sure she wasn't late, but she hated it when she arrived last even if she wasn't late. She hated to be the one to make others wait. She made her way on a dark sidewalk until she heard a shrill rattle behind her. She turned around. Had she dropped something? She pointed a flashlight from her phone to a ground but saw nothing. She kept walking.
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"He is drunk as a skunk! How are we going to get anything out of him." Sam studied the man sitting a few bar stools from him.
"Hey, it's not my fault, dude is lightweight;" Dean shrugged his shoulders and took a ship of his beer.
"I didn't say it was your fault, I'm just point out a fact," Sam said.
"Let's just try it out, work it or not. Nothing to lose here." Dean voiced his plan, already on his way towards the drunken shell of a man, Victor.
"Hey man! Having fun I see," Dean greeted Victor, taking the barstool next to him.
"Dë'éaån...! havEen't sEeN YuO in Agesss!" Victor launched himself to hug Dean like he was his life-long friend. Dean awkwardly hugged him back and waited for Victor to get back to his seat. Sam took a stand next to Dean, trying not to laugh at the sign of his brother and Victor reuniting.
Victor finally leaned back to his barstool, and only then he noticed Sam standing next to him.
"This is Sam, my brother." Dean introduced him.
"SäM! I'VE heard Of YoU!" Victor nearly giggled excitedly, "YeaHH DéaNie told ME a lot ábout you!"
"Oh Deanie? He has?" Sam looked at Dean amused. Dean gave him a look that clearly said, "shut up".
"So, Victor, How's it been?" Dean asked, smiling to Victor and leaning his elbow against the dirty bar counter.
Victor went on excitedly telling about his new job and new car and how they were expecting a second child with his wife, Hilda. He told them about his dump ass boss who thought he was a little bit more important than god himself and how he was planning on proposing to Hilda (Even tho they were already married. Dean knew it, but he had no heart to break it to Victor. That's how excited he was about proposing to her.) God, this dude had had about ten drinks too much.
"Hmm interesting. We heard about Sandra. Such a terrible thing." Dean shook his head.
"Yeah, must have been hard for you too, to be witnessing it." Sam added.
"Yup, I saw it with my own eyes too," Victors demeanor changed into a more serious one. It was clear the man was terrified of the memories he had.
"Saw what?" Dean asked, pretending not to know everything.
"The thing," Victors eyes locked with the wall in front of him. "It was not a human, I could tell, and no one, even the police, believed me. They said that maybe the killer had just dressed himself in a costume, but it was not a costume. It was floating, and it appeared out of nothing and disappeared into thin air."
"So Victor.. What did it do? Just came and left with Sandra?" Sam asked.
"No. I was walking behind her, not close to her, but the road was straight so I could see her all the time. I don't think she knew I was behind her. It was late...or early, a little bit before 4am. The streetlight were off, but the sun was just about to start rising so it wasn't pitch black, I swear. I SAW HER FINE." Victor started to yell suddenly and hit his fist into the bar counter.
"Woah, dude, we believe you." Dean tried to calm him down. Few people in the bar turned to look at them.
"Sorry it's just.. I saw it and no one believes me. The police claimed that I was drunk, and it was dark but...," Victor sighed. "She turned around, she was looking for something from her pockets, but she couldn't find it so she started to look from the ground and walk back. Towards me, she looked panicked even from far, and I was planning on asking from her if everything was fine once she came close enough but then.. Then the thing appeared. It was behind her, she never saw it, she was looking so closely to the ground. It reached out to touch her and then they both just disappeared. I called the police immediately, but they did nothing. They came and took me to jail for "prank calling". Then the next day Sandra's mom called about her being missing just as they were to let me go, they were about to take me as main suspect but then they took it back. I mean, for fuck's sake. And then her body was found."
"Hmm, That's something." Sam thought outloud.
"But there's something more weird." Victor looked betrified.
"And what's that?" Dean asked, taking a ship of his beer.
"Before the thing took Sandra, before it even appeared, the streeth lights... they all just blasted on, like fully on. The whole road was lit on like it was on fire." Victor said his voice shaking.
"The streetlights went on? Really? at night, aren't they supposed to be on?" Dean asked, a light amusement and disbelief in his voice.
"You don't get it, you outsider. They never ever put them on after 12am." He turned to look at Dean for the first time during their talk.
"Who's they?" Dean asked.
Victor was about to answer but then his eyes locked to the front door, right behind Dean. His face changed, it was like a new man morphied into him. This... a smile came to his face, like something super amusing was about to happen and he completely forgot the previous conversation that had brought this man into a state of true fear.
"Victor?" Dean asked, he was about to turn himself to check what had just walked through those doors but he didn't have to.
"Y/N, GIRLLL! Check who's hereee!" Victor yelled, he fully nearly screamed across the whole bar.
"God damn it, Victor." Dean
"Okay pal, It's your time to go home." A doorman walked over to Victor and grapped him by his upper arm.
"No please, we'll look after him, he'll behave." Sam tried to save Victor from being kicked out.
"Trust me, this one never does. I'm doing you a favor, you don't want to watch after him." The doorman laughed before escorting Victor out. Man he was drunk.
Dean's eyes locked with hers. She's so beautiful, He thought. She was wearing a black maxi dress, casual but sexy. Her hair was carefully done and she was wearing this...a god awful look on her face, like she had just withnessed something so disgusting it was classified as a crime. Oh, right, she had locked her eyes with Dean himself.
"Okay pall, it's your time to go home." A doorman came to stand next to Victor and grapped his upper arm.
"No, please. We'll look after him, he'll behave." Sam tried to save Victor from being kicked out.
"Trust me, he won't and you don't want to." The doorman said and escorted Victor out.
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How dare he be here ruining the night? The one night I decide to go out and he's here, Y/N thought. She had been glaring the back of his head for 20 minutes now. He and Sam were still sitting in the same spot next to a bar counter they had been sitting since she and Joselyn arrived. They had took a table across the room but the bar was not big enough for Y/N to forget his presence.
"Like I will go get you some binoculars if you want me to." Joselyn commented. Joselyn had been sitting silently next to her friend.
"Sorry, I just... Why the fuck he needs to be here?" Y/N sighed, breaking her glare and turning to look at Joselyn.
"Free country I guess.. Anyways, I say we forget about him and have fun. Who's with me? I know I am." Joselyn grinned.
"suree," Y/N smiled. She promised she was going to try. She came to have a good night and one fuckboy wasn't going to stop that. besides, she know how annoying she was being and unfair to Joselyn. She too had had and experience of asking a friend out and then the friend is all obsessed over some and completely forgets her friend and original conversation subjects exist.
"I feel like im too old for this, sitting in a bar and beefing with a fuckboy. Like I didn't know fuckboys at this age existed anymore but apparently they do." Y/N shook his head.
"Trust me, they never go out of style. I bet there's a 87-year-old guy named Larry going around a nursing home breaking them old poor hearts." Joselyn giggled, "Let's go get drinks."
"No we can't" Y/N grapped Joselyns hand in panic, "He's literally right there next to a bar counter."
"I know and he's there for a purpose trying to pretend he didn't even see you but secretly waiting for you to go get a drink." Joselyn pointed out, "I'll go, you wait here."
"Okay but don't say anything to him." Y/N wasn't sure if she trusted her friend with this task.
"I would never!" Joselyn acted like she was hurt by her even thinking she'd do such a think and then winked at her and turned on her heels to trot to the bar counter.
Y/N pulled her phone from her handbag and started scrolling through it. She had no notifications, not a single text or anything but she still went through her phone, pretending she had like atleast thousand messages to reply. To her defence, feeling awkward when left alone at a bar was a really common feeling and distracting yourself with a weather app was a common response.
She had already checked next week's weather in Dimdale, Vancouver and Dallas when Joselyn finally came back with a tray with four drinks and four shots on it.
"Woah, what's all this?" Y/N looked at the tray in shock almost.
"Our drinks! Two drinks and two shots for you, same for me." Joselyn said and started to sort out the drinks on the table.
"Are we gonna like crawl back home from here?" Y/N giggled.
"No I was planning on passing out on the toilet and then taking a ambulance but you can take build-in the four-wheeler if you feel like it." Joselyn joked.
"truth or drink?" Joselyn asked, "But even if you pick truth you still have to drink tho."
"Okay, sure." Y/N was pretty sure she knew what was coming so she just picked up the first shot she got and downed it.
"What happened between you and Dean? You never talk about it and don't take this the wrong way but it was only like under a year old undefined long-distance relationship and you''ve been like shit about it for years after." Joselyn asked, she had always been curious.
"Well, I just.. It just sucked." Short but effective answer.
"Breakups usually do...And?" Joselyn didn't settle for that.
"I just really liked him. Like really, truly liked liked him.." Y/N continued
"Huge crush you had, I remember," Joselyn added. She knew Y/N maybe even had fallen in love but she knew better than poke at that. But two years crying over it was still a bit much she thought.
"Yeah, sure.," Y/N took her second shot and then drank little bit of her mixed drink to get the taste of alcohol out of her mouth, "He was the first guy I truly liked liked and I felt like it was mutual and I knew he had this job and all and he was away a lot and he never really even lived here but I feel like it was worth the wait and maybe even worth like you know.. eventually moving with him if it got that serious. And before he left me he gave me this ring.."
Joselyn gasped and took a sip of her drink. She was really into the story like she was watching a reality tv.
"Not a engagement ring you idiot!" Y/N laughed at her friends shocked expression, "It was just an old ring, he said it was special to him. It was really pretty tho. he said that he wanted me to have it. However, then two weeks later, he was supposed to be back in a week yet he calls me that he's not gonna come and that I should lose his number."
"No way!" Joselyn gasped again.
"Yeah, the way that he did it, like he couldn't even wait a week to get here and dump me face to face. I just know he lied about something and you know what I think it is?" Y/N turned to look check if Dean was still sitting where he had been. He was, he said something to Sam. "I think he lived a double live. I mean think of it."
"Yeah it does sound suspicios." Joselyn agreed.
"I tried to google this so called 'Family business' and nothing, not a single result nanywhere and his whole story was that the business was one of the fields best so kinda weird it's nowhere to be found.I think he had another woman, or like I was the another woman. And she must have found out and he panic because clearly he chose her." Y/N secretly wished she had third shot but she didn't.
"in that case not your lose girl, not your lose." Joselyn shook her head.
"I guess." She didn't see it as black and white, "Anyways, I think I know why he's now back. I think he wants to propose and needs the ring back."
"NO WAY" Joselyn yelped.
"shhhhhhh!" Y/N didn't dare to check who had turned around to look at them.
"Yup, I think he wants to propose with it and have it back but because he's such a dump ass liar he can't even be honest and ask it back but he has to put all of this show of being back in town with his brother. Sam even came talk to me and was like 'Idk what happened but I'm sorry blaahblaah' and trying to befriend me. I think Dean has put Sam in the business so he could ask the ring back because, i don't know, maybe they think i wouldn't give it back to him." Y/N said.
"Would you tho? Do you even have it anymore?" Joselyn knitted her eyebrows.
Y/N laughed a little bit, "Of course I have, I mean all of his other stuff he had left I threw away but I wouldn't throw away something he said was special to him. It's just a ring i mean, if he said it was special it had to have background story.."
"But don't you think it's bit weird he'd give the ring to you if he planned to propose with it one day?" The way Joselyn worded her gueston hurt Y/N feeling a little bit.
Truthfully, Y/N had felt her whole life that she was somewhat 'unloveable', like she just wasn't good enough for someone to love. And before Dean she had felt nearly invisiable and like she had to plant herself infront of people for them to even notice her and like beg for them to be with her and even then, if they happened to see her, they only wanted sex, sort time pleasure from her and nothing else. But with Dean, it had felt different. It had felt like she didn't have to try so hard to be loved and valued. She wasn't gonna admit it outloud but she thought she had loved him and that he loved her too but when it had begun clear that was not the case, it had broke her in ways she didn't even know her spirit could be broken. So for even Joselyn to guestion why he would give the ring to her made her feel stupid. Like had she fallen for a stupid lie? What it that transparent that he hadn't loved her,
"I don't know why he gave it to me. Maybe he was trying to keep the show on. I thought that maybe he lied and the ring was just a ring but why else would they be back? There's literally nothing else here for them exept the ring?" she replied, she felt herself getting drunk and she also felt a lump starting to form in her throat. Great.
She hated him, more than anything. She felt stupid, like she had walked around with rose pink glasses on thinking she had a love of her life next to her and he had let her believe that. And then she maybe was just a side chick. She couldn't proof it but she knew he had lied about something so if not that then what?.
"Yeah so that's that. That's his crime, that's what happened" Y/N leaned back in her seat. She wasn't feeling too well.
"I have to go to toilet," Y/N said and got up.
As she walked to the toilet she could feel her eyes watering and legs thumbling. She was more drunk than she thought she had been. But she was not going to cry in public, not over him.
But as she reached the bathroom and the door closed, she just felt tears escaping her eyes no matter how she tried to fight it.
"Stop it, you crybaby." She whispered to herself and she was going to insult herself more but she heard the door open. It was probably Joselyn, she probably noticed Y/N was crying.
"What happened?" concerned voice asked.
"I -" Y/n was about to start sobbing to her best friend but then she realized she was not in the room with her, "You nasty donkey what are you doing here? It's women's bathroom.
"Why are you crying?" Dean asked again, crossing his arms infront of her. Y/N tried to go around him and leave but he just stepped infront of her, blocking her exit.
"I'm not crying!" It came out in a full angry sob.
Dean trying to take a hold of her face and wipe her tears with his thumb but Y/N pushed his hands away.
"Don't touch me:" She hissed.
"Y/N please, I'm begging you. Don't be like this," Dean plead.
"Like what?" she asked him. Secretly she was glad she had done something that bothered him enough for him to ask her to stop.
"Don't be so angry and passive-agressive all the time and don't push me away constantly. Just tell me what happened?" He grapped her by her arms gently but firmly.
"I'm crying because..." Y/N started, "I just learned that when sloths mate the female sloth will climb up a tree and scream till a male finds her. And that just really moved me to tears."
"Very funny, very clever Y/N" Dean rolled his eyes.
"Isn't it." Y/N gave him a sarcastic smile and she could tell he was not happy at all about her behaviour. She thought that maybe he was getting a little bit angry too, "Would that work on you?" She asked.
"You can try." He looked her up and down.
"Do you want just like a full scream or would you prefer some pronunciation in there? Like maybe even a full phrase like ´somebody help me, There's a man in wome's bathroom!´ or something like that."
"You're in men's bathroom." Dean pointed out.
"No, i'm not."
"Yes, you are you sloppy drunk." Dean smiled a little bit but not in a malicious way. He thought it was cute how disoriented she was now that she was not fully crying anymore.
Y/N looked to her right, there indeed was a row of urinals that had not caught her attention earlier.
"So did you follow me here or did you just come here to have a shit?" Y/N asked and now she felt like crying again. She really thought he had came in for her.
"Maybe I came in to watch out for my fellow pals," He smirked, he had that smirk. Y/N stared at his lips. He noticed. She was going to tell him to go fuck himself just out of habbit at this point but then he pushed her against the bathroom wall and pressed his lips to hers.
She was going to push him away but her hands betrayed her, instead, they wrapped themselves around his neck. His skin was soft and his lips moved gently with hers. She could smell his musky aftershave. She tried to take a step and leave but her legs didn't listen to her either. Instead her right leg lifted itself up and pressed her thigh against the side of his hip. She could feel tingles at the bottom of her stomach. Dean grapped the back of her thighs and her legs, without a premision, wrapped themselves around him. Her hands wandered into his hair, pulling his soft hair a little bit. She could feel his tongue slid into her mouth and his stubble rubbed against her chin. she loved hated the taste of him so much. His fingers digged into the flesh of her thighs as he hold her body, pressing her more inbetween the wall and himself. she wanted him to kiss her deeply and tell her that whatever he had done before was a mistake and he loved her and wanted to be with her and he was ready to do what ever it took to proof to her that she was worthy of her trust and that there was no other woman and that she was everything to him fuck off, she wanted him to fuck off.
Someone moaned and Y/N realised it was her. Did I just fucking moan?? She thought, oh no.
He smiled into her lips, he had heard that. He was about to break the kiss and ask her if they should leave it for later and if she'd let him by her a drink (non-alcoholic because she had had enough) but she broke the kiss first.
"What do you think you're doing?" She sounded angry, again, per usual.
"Uhm.." Dean looked genuinedly suprised, and a little bit hurt. He put her down, carefully holding her till she found her balance.
"Y/N, I thought..." Dean started to apologize but what cut off.
"Don't think." She hissed and stormed out of the bathroom...
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Next part (x)
// this chapter was literal hell to write. I lost it like 2 times because tumblr hates me and had to rewrite it so sorry if there's apnormal amount on typos, I tried to edit it the best I could.
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scribble-dribble-writes · 1 year ago
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Plastic hearts - (9)
<<<Prev Next>>>
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But what would you do if I went to touch you now?What would you do if they never found us out? What would you do if we never made a sound?
🤭👀🦋
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You appointed your sous chef to run the restaurant while you wanted to work the first few months to get the school lunch system in order. The kitchen facility was much less advanced to what you had access to before and the menu needed a revamp. None of the kids were getting any nutritious meals in and upon further research it was easier to understand why not many students were willing to have their meals here. For the price they were paying, they did not receive food they liked.
The benefit of being from an established restaurant meant you got your own office within the school and it felt empowering. To have your own corner. It felt like as the days passed, your sleeplessness was getting worse and all you could think of was how hard it was to try and be anything else other than what this world expected women to be. You wanted to quit your job or resort to being comfortable with just being in the background.
It was like a new wave of bitterness and futility that had taken every woman by a storm. A few of them were like zombies, not lively as they had once been before. The hallway chatter had died down, a lot of companies began to struggle, all over the world it was becoming more apparent. That if women were taken out of the system, it began to fail on itself.
But through this you were facing another unique challenge on your own. You had asked for time with Ken, to contemplate on that friendship and process his return. You had at minimum expected him to have popped up into your life again to remind you he needed an answer, or buy his way in with treats and flamboyant gestures to convince you he was trying but none of that happened over the past week. He was firstly busy with his schedule but then he never went out of his way to find you. But even if he had done so you would know because you were avoiding him, only out of the need to observe him from afar.
Once the meals for the day and week were sorted all that you needed to do was oversee the execution and make sure the pantry was stocked with the required ingredients while managing the budget. Which gave you a little extra time to snoop around.
You opened up your phone to start the first step, to check if he had any social media presence and your search came up with nothing. He wasn’t anywhere online. He would turn up to school 10 mins early just to be there to welcome the kids who needed to come to library to study and some days would surprise them with a box of donuts.
When you walked down the corridors you would always here the sound of children laughing and him making jokes. The more you observed him to try to find a characteristic that could label him or show you that deep down he was just as bad as any other guy, you couldn’t. There was no flaw.
Come lunch time, he would sit alone to have his meal, his eyes occasionally catching yours when you stood behind the counter and before he could initiate a conversation you would leave, to hide inside the service area.
It was just that when you’ve wanted to be right so badly, admitting defeat to being proven wrong made you feel a lot more humiliated.
You were walking back to your office post the lunch rush when you could hear him down the hallway. His voice animated as he narrated a story and it drew you towards the library door. From the glass window in it, you could seen him, wearing a paper crown while all the other children were gathered around him wearing some form of character related clothing, all taking part in the story telling.
The smile on these toddler’s faces caused you to smile too. But there was one issue that you couldn’t resolve. How was it that he had brought forth a change in himself while you were struggling for it? even after having visited the real world before you did.
“God, he’s so good with kids. It’s unbelievable.”, someone slid up next to you. Turning to see who it was, you found yourself standing next to the school principal.
“He just turned up at my doorstep one day. I was skeptical cause he had no work experience but look at that face.”, she smirked.
You weren’t interested in listening to her take, it astonished you that most failed to value him for his character and only chose to exploit him for his physical beauty.
“Who can stay no to all of that?”, she gossiped but your eyes could only focus on him.
His sandy blonde hair turning golden as it caught the afternoon light, the pastel pink shirt he wore reminded you of where you had come from. It made you feel special, that wherever you were, you and him had that special connection to exist in a world of your own.
“He’s more than that.”, you said confidently to which she hummed half heartedly.
“But just between us girls though. I believe he already has a girlfriend. I tried to kiss him once and he let it slip.”, she shrugged her shoulders as if her comment was well intentioned but it was rather a way of letting you know that you didn’t have any more chance than she did.
“But hey, until I see a ring on that girl’s finger nothing is set in stone.”, she laughed as she patted your arm but you couldn’t find the humor in her statement.
Every day you learnt something new about this city and this place. But to take a step back from your own problems, you only found more. To understand that just as vulnerable as you were, he was too.
As you looked into the class again, his eyes were on you as he settled the kids into their nap time. He stood up, beginning to walk towards you. The hair on your arms stood up with the shameful feeling of having been caught. You weren’t brave enough to stay, to face him. So you bolted the other direction annoyed with yourself that you were behaving like a teenager.
The day was almost over and you were at ease knowing that since today was friday evening, if you snuck out without him knowing, then you had the whole weekend to yourself without this constant gnawing crush feasting on your mind. You couldn’t put yourself through it again, to have him infiltrate your mind. You knew how it went last time, so why try again. You just wanted to snuff before it consumed you whole.
You put away your folders and stepped out after making sure there was no one around. You locked your door and quickly began to walk towards the school entrance, throwing glances over your shoulder keeping a vigilant watch for Ken.
But suddenly you felt a warm hold around your wrist and then a firm tug, which altered your course of direction from the school's entrance to the Janitor’s closet. You were going to scream, absolutely convinced this was an abduction when a hand wrapped around your mouth. Your back rested on his chest as he shushed you, just by the softness of his touch you could tell it was the one man you were trying to hide from.
He watched the crack beneath to door, only to watch a passing shadow and the sound of clicking heels against the floor tiles. But all you could focus on was how his muscles were taut beneath his shirt, his warm breath slipping down the back of your neck and the rhythm of his rapid heart that beat in sync with yours. It was sureal, hearing his heart beat for the first time, it reminded you that he was real.
As the sound faded, he relaxed and let go of you. But you were grateful for the dark, he couldn’t see how deep your cheeks were flushed.
“What were you thinking?”, you whispered quickly.
“I wanted to talk to you.”, he responded.
“You don’t kidnap people for that.”, you gestured around you.
“No, I’ve made sure you don’t take off running again.”, he narrowed his eyes at you.
“Yeah, I see you and your little schemes.”, he continued knowing you remained silent.
“Schemes? What schemes?”, you mumbled as he drew closer, there was no where else to run now, because he had his arms on either side and a mischievous rumble in his voice.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Briella.”, he tilted his head so he could maintain eye contact.
Your palms were sweating, your heart was beating faster than it should, your knees felt weak and some part of you wanted to pull him in closer.
You wanted to deny it so as you thought of an excuse, you opened your mouth to say it but he placed his hand over your lips again. Hearing the sound of the Principal’s heels coming closer again. This felt like a secret mission, that for the first time since setting foot here, you felt the rush of adrenaline. The space was getting a little stuffy as you breathed in sync with him. His eyes finding yours again as you both waited, afraid she was going to open the door and discover you two here, huddled together in a rather compromising exchange.
But the fear turned into a thrill as he grinned and you knew, that there was no use fighting this. He was going to take residence in your mind once again.
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Tags:
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redrose10 · 9 months ago
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The next chapter of Cinnamon & Vanilla should be out mid-to the end of next week. We’re getting close to the end and I really appreciate all the support on that one. Here is a little sneak peak at the next story that I plan to release. As you can probably tell I’m very Yoongi biased. This one will probably just be one big story instead of a multi chapter thing, but that could change. Let me know if this is something you’d actually be interested in reading!
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Inn Keeper Yoongi x Female Author Reader
Summary: You have never experienced true love which is hilarious considering you write romance novels for a living. When you end up staying at The Interlude Inn located in Holly Falls you start to wonder if maybe the answer to your newest love story is sitting behind the welcome desk. Quickly, you find out that Min Yoongi hides a lot of pain and sorrow behind his shy smiles and quick glances.
Warnings: (may get updated) Swearing, character death, very very angsty for a while, mentions of physical and verbal abuse, bullying, a really mean letter, panic attacks, eventual light smut, it will get better
Teaser Below The Cut
Once you arrived at the airport you really wished you’d done a little more research about Holly Falls. After some digging and a conversation with a very outgoing Uber Driver you found out that eleven months out of the year the town is very low key and relaxed, but for one month it is a tourist hotspot thanks to the insane amount of blooming cherry blossom trees. According to your new Uber friend, people come to Holly Falls during this month to see the fields of trees blooming in all their glory. The normally quiet town embraces the crowds providing various festivals and parades and gimmicks to draw in the guests as well as their wallets. And of course you just happen to travel over there smack dab in the middle of it all.
The driver dropped you off in the middle of the fun so with your bag slung over your shoulder you started heading into different hotels trying to book a room. In the city you could walk into pretty much any hotel at any time and book a room. You had assumed it would be same in this small town so you had decided to wait to book a room until you could see them in person wanting to get the feel and make sure you chose the right fit. You imagine in any other month it would be much easier to obtain a place to stay here, but due to the large tourist presence every single hotel was completely booked for the entire month.
You were just about ready to give up and head to the airport to see about booking a flight home when an older gentleman came up to you carrying various handmade trinkets for sale.
“See anything you like miss? All of these are under $10.”, he asked.
Politely you smiled, “No thank you. Not right now.”
You thought he had left until you saw him dangling a hand painted sun catcher in front of you. The design a beautiful beautiful cherry blossom. Trying to bite your tongue and not snap at the elderly man you again shook your head.
“Here have it for free. You seem to need a little cheering up.”, he smiled.
Reaching up you grabbed the delicate glass from him, “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m sorry if I came off rude. I’m just really stressed out right now.”
“Didn’t know about the cherry blossom season and now you can’t find a place to stay?”, he asked.
“How did you know?”, you replied wide eyed.
The elderly man chuckled while taking a seat next to you, “There’s always at least one person that gets stuck here with nowhere to stay because they didn’t know how crazy things can get around here this time of the year.”
“Mmh yeah that would be me this year. I need somewhere to stay for a couple weeks or I’m going to have to head back home.”
“You know there might be somewhere that still has a room available. It’s just outside all of the hubbub. About ten miles just over that hill. If you get to Taehyung’s Strawberry Farm then you’ve gone too far.”, he said pointing in the opposite direction of the festivities.
“Really? You think they’d have a room? I wonder why they wouldn’t be booked like every other place.”
The gentleman stood up from the bench you were both on, “Its worth a shot. It’s a little farther away from all the action than people like to be. Plus the owners are a little on the unique side.”
You were concerned at this statement. The last thing you wanted to do was end up being the story line of a true crime documentary.
He continued, “They are very nice people. A young man and his grandmother. They just tend to be very secluded and to themselves. It’s called Interlude Inn. You can’t miss it.”
You thanked him for the information and watched as he walked into a large group of people trying to sell the rest of his merchandise. Placing the delicate sun catcher in your bag you ordered another Uber to take you over to the inn. A familiar vehicle quickly pulled up in front of you with the same talkative man from earlier. You wondered how there weren’t any other drivers available, but you smiled as you slid in the back seat anyways.
“Leaving so soon?”, he asked.
You chuckled, “No I just need to find somewhere else to stay. Can you please take me to The Interlude Inn?”
Suddenly the man stopped, turning to look back at you.
“Miss you don’t want to stay there. Surely there’s somewhere else around here you can stay.”
“Every hotel is completely booked. If this inn doesn’t have a room then I’ll have to just go home.”
He sighed, “Alright miss. If you insist.”
He began the drive to your location. His words about finding somewhere else stuck in your mind.
“Sir?”
“Yes Miss”
“What you said earlier. What is so bad about this inn?”
“Well, the grandma, I think her name is Mae, is very sweet. She’s done the best she can with what she had. But that Min boy, he’s a little odd.”
“Ohhh…Like serial killer odd?”
The man chuckled, “No not that kind of odd. He’s just very quiet and keeps to himself, but he is polite. He’s never seemed to have any friends and I doubt he’s ever had any kind of relationship. He comes into town only a few times a year, mostly when his grandmother needs something. He doesn’t acknowledge anyone, even when they speak to him directly. People usually only stay at the inn as a last resort during this busy season.”
From what you’re hearing he seemed like just a quiet introverted person who loves his grandma. You weren’t sure why everyone seemed so leery of him.
The car pulled up infront of the inn. The large wooden sign out front verified you were indeed at The Interlude Inn. Thanking your driver you grabbed your bag and made your way up to the entrance.
The Inn looked cozy and welcoming. It was smaller than you had imagined. There couldn’t be more than three or four rooms. Off to the side you noticed a little garden with various plants starting to bloom.
On the door hung a welcome sign adorned with hand painted lady bugs and butterflies. Turning the handle you gently pushed in the door being greeted by a heavenly aroma making your stomach grumble. The entrance room which also doubled as a living room had two couches, one on either side of a coffee table. A television hung on the wall above a fireplace. In the corner was a small desk which you assume would be where you could request a room.
Walking over you noticed a younger man crouching down so he was eye level with one of the drawers. He appeared to be about your age, mid to late twenties. Black hair with a slight curl to it hung over his forehead. Beautiful cat like eyes and his soft lips formed into a deep pout. You wanted so badly to reach over and squeeze his chubby cheeks, but you knew that was a weirdness you didn’t want to invoke. He was fidgeting with a drawer that seemed to be stuck and you could here the argument he was having in soft whispers,
“Come on you stupid thing.”
“It shouldn’t be this difficult.”
“Please, I just need a pen and then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day.”
You chuckled hearing him begging the drawer to cooperate. Reaching into your bag you grabbed one of your spare pens and set it on the desk, “Here I have a pen you could use.”
The young man let out a sudden squeal after you startled him. He jumped backwards and landed on his behind with a loud thud.
“Oh no I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you had heard me come in.”, you apologized feeling terrible.
The poor guy sat on the ground trying to collect himself before bringing himself back to a standing position. That’s when you noticed his cheeks were a bright shade of red, making you want to squeeze them even more. The man didn’t say a word. His eyes were barely able to focus on you, instead they would move around the room before returning to you for just a second before he’d quickly look elsewhere.
“Ahh this must be the Min boy the driver was talking about?”, you thought to yourself.
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sugaimhome · 2 years ago
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country house setting - kth - part one
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pairing: 19th century taehyung x reader
minors do not interact!!!
warnings (this part): age gap (10 years, readers 18, he’s 28), masturbation (v brief), loads of smut in the next chapter hold ye horses, yandere (? he’s very obsessed with her and her innocence lol), hints towards previous abuse, distant father figure, the messed up society of 19th century britain, biscuits.
part summary: taehyung wasn't looking forward to the isolation of his fathers manor, when you knock his door, that isolation is shattered, he has a new obsession. When taehyung visits your father to introduce himself as his a new neighbor, he makes you an offer you just can not decline.
words: 4.4k
series summary: your isolated manor house has nothing interesting going on. but when the abandoned manor near to yours has a new occupant, things change. taehyung is obsessed with you from the day you first knock his door. he’d do anything for you, even if it meant going against your father’s wishes, even if it meant you losing something very important to your future marriage on the way, something that would force your fathers hand.
part one  part two  part three  masterlist 
explanation of the title: a literacy genre where fictional characters are often isolated and alone living in a country house.
A/N: i’ve been so excited to post this, then suddenly, min yoongi decides to post a picture with the same vibes... least to say I changed some names around to better suit next chapters 😫😫 he will be appearing more than once in this story. this hasn’t been proof read by anyone but me so sorry about that 😶‍🌫️ i love reader so much i just want to protect her 🥺 also the writing on the banner is jane austens writing, what a queen. I did try and copy the speaking of the time a little but I think I failed 😀
“A ball?” you ask, hope filling every inch of your heart, you’d never been to a ball, you were dying to go “Oh, father, we must go” It had been over two months since you’d properly left the house, and that had only been to the local market. You could only paint the garden so many times before going mad.
“We won’t be going to Min Yoongi’s ball” he replies, not looking up from the letter he’s holding. He sounds so resigned you wonder if he even heard you. 
“But father-” you begin, hoping to say your piece to him.
“No Y/N” his answer is blunt, you know it was final; there's no point arguing with him when he’s in one of these moods, it will only end with you getting hurt. 
“Okay”. This had been the third ball invitation this week and the third rejection from your father. You sigh. How were you ever to find a husband if you didn’t socialise? All the rich men would have found young brides now, and you, at the age of 18 would be seen as too old. The two of you stand in awkward silence for a while as he flips through his letters. 
“Someone is making residence in the manor beyond the brook.” he tells you, licking his finger to separate two pieces of paper from each other. 
“Really?” you ask. “I hope it’s a family, I would love a friend so close!”
“It’s a single man, according to the Park family, they are acquaintances with him in London.”
“London!?” you exclaim, you had been disappointed by the lack of friends the move in would bring but a new excitement had begun with the aspect of the man being from London. You had so many questions about the place. It was another world to you. “When does he move in?”
“You must not bombard him with your incessant questions.” he complains, wiggling a finger at you without looking up at you.
“I only wish to make him a cake, or maybe some biscuits” you admit, trying to lace honesty into your voice.
Your father sighs, putting down his papers and turning to you. “The 10th”
“But father, that is today!” you think he’s playing with you. “Don’t be mean”
“Read the letter if you do not believe your own father.”
The letter did in fact say the 10th. You’re almost jumping on your feet, but that would be impolite so instead you pull the letter, signed by the park jimin your father had always spoken about to your chest. “What great news” you say, trying to hide the excitement in your voice. “If you don’t mind, father, I will begin to make biscuits for him now”
“Do as you please” he replies, not really listening, still flicking through the pages in front of him. Curtsying you leave the room, the letter balled up in your fist. You make a bee-line for the kitchen, you’d get Annie to put the oven on straight away.
*** 
Taehyung had been hesitant to move back to the country. When his father had died 4 years ago he’d left his childhood home in his inheritance. Taehyung had decided that after so long it was time to return home after nearly 10 years in London. Home was a loose term. The manor had been miss kept, the garden overgrown, the surfaces dusty. Upon his early morning entrance to the house he had been ushered in by an elderly maid, Victoria was her name, he only vaguely remembered her. Apparently, he'd been paying her a monthly wage to maintain the place since his father had died. She hadn't been doing a too-great job. Though he was grateful that the house wasn't entirely empty when he arrived. Victoria had made him tea, lit his fire and explained to him that she was happy someone was living in the house again. She left, explaining she lived in the town across and had a family now. He granted her a smile as she went.
With the door locked shut and Victoria gone the only sound the house offered was the low snapping and crackling of the flames. It was so different to London, there was always something going on, someone coming to visit him, a servant cleaning or, even in the silent moments, the sound of the street at the end of his carriage-way. He missed it already. 
Yet the quiet of the house offered an odd privacy and an odd tranquility that he had missed. It dawned on him that he could do anything here and the only witness would be the flames of this fire and the wildflowers that had overtaken the garden. It gave him a sense of freedom.
Leaning back in his chair, cup of tea in one hand the other lying across his thigh. He relaxed in the blissful, slightly creepy, silence until the door knocked. He sighs. Maybe he wasn't as isolated as he thought. Nearly forgetting that no one is here to open the door for him as he had been so used to in London he quickly shoots from his chair. For a moment he struggled to open the front door, Victoria had locked him in it seemed. 
"Give me a moment!" he shouts, hoping his visitor hasn't already left.
He finds a key hanging from one of the plant pots. What an odd place. The door unlocks with relative ease and as he pulls it open he peeks his head around the door.
A teenager. He has opened the door to an unaccompanied female teenager who seems to have a box of biscuits. "Good Evening" she curtsies, the too small corset she's wearing almost over spilling her breasts. He gulps. "I live in the manor across the brook" she explains to him, he can hear the unease in her voice. The naivety and innocence. "I brought you biscuits."
She extends the box to him at arms length, squeezing her breasts together in the process. Was she doing this on purpose? "Thank you," he smiles, taking the box from her. "Would you like to come in?" When she nods he pulls the door open entirely, displaying the very dusty entryway. "Do excuse the disorder, as you can imagine it hasn't been well looked after" 
"I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said" she admits, purposely keeping her eyes away from the dust. He appreciates the small action. She scans the reception hall, obviously waiting for him to lead her through to a social area. "My name is Y/N" she tells him as he leads her into the living area. When he doesn’t immediately reply she asks, "Would it be impolite to ask yours?"
She's oddly quiet, he probably wouldn't have heard her voice if he were in the hustle of London "Taehyung" he replies. "My father used to own this manor. He died four years ago, would you have known him?" 
"I would have been 14 then, with little consideration of what was going on around me" Y/N replies. "I am sorry for your loss"
She was 18. Many questions filled his head. "Is your father a respectable man?" He asks her. "Is that whom you live with?"
"Oh, yes, as respectable as yours once was I should imagine" she replies, he turns to look at her, a little blush covers her cheeks.
"Then you would have been in London for the season this year" he asks, wondering if he had ever crossed paths with her.
"I have never been to London," she replies. "Though, I have heard it is exquisite."
An Eighteen year-old who has never seen London. "Then you must have an arranged marriage with a local man. I hope that is going well for you"
There is a pause between his statement and her reply. "My father does not have time to threat over my marital arrangements"
He is shocked, he had not heard of such a scandalous thing in his life. He feels sorry for her. Puzzled, he leads her into the living room where she gently sits down on a sofa he desperately hopes is not dusty. When no little particles rise to meet the sun he assumes he is safe. "I assume you'd like one of these biscuits" he asks her, turning around to place them on the small, delicately decorated table. When he turned around she'd moved, as quietly as a mouse, to the fireplace. Her dress was so close to the flames. Y/N's attention does not seem to be upon the fire though but more towards the painting placed above him. 
"This is not an appropriate place for such a lovely painting." she turns to him. Instinctively he walks up beside her, looking at the painting. "The heat will ruin the watercolour" 
There's a pout on her lips, this was obviously something she was very passionate about. "This is Thomas Girtin" she comments, reaching out and ghosting the frame of the painting with her fingers, above her finger is the signature of this Thomas Girtin. "It is a rare and expensive piece."
Taehyung is no longer staring at the painting but rather at her. He was surprised at her confidence to come into a strangers house and advise them on both the placement of their paintings and the stupidly of it. He smirks. "I'll have it moved at soon as possible, Miss Y/N. I am sure it will look a lot nicer in your premises"
"No, sir" she exclaims, stepping back from the painting and turning to look at him. "That is not what my intentions were when telling you about this piece."
"Perhaps it will persuade you to bring me more of those biscuits," Taehyung replies. He thought of his moment on the chair earlier, when he had the small epiphany of the freedom this house would bring him, how he could get away with anything. He places a hand on the small of her back and leads her back towards the front door. Grabbing two biscuits on his way past and passing one to her. With the hand on her back, she seems to have silenced a bit. "It's nearly dark, I would like to walk you back across the brook." 
"You do too much, Sir. I grew up here. I know quite well my way across the brook" Y/N defends. Taehyung is adamant as he places his boots on, and his overcoat. 
"So did I. I insist" he replies. "I left only 10 years ago, at your age. I'm sure I will find my way back quite safely." She doesn't reply, just stands in front of him with her arms crossed. "If you'd had a season in London you'd know well this is what a true gentleman is supposed to do." 
She blushes at the mention of a season in London. It only gives Taehyung an inflated feeling of power. It is clear that this young woman had no idea how to navigate herself around men, or perhaps other humans. She was as isolated as he was when he had lived in this place. He felt an unwelcome feeling of wanting to show her everything.
*** 
Taehyung had, clearly, known his way around the grounds of both his and your land. As he left you at the bottom of the steps to your mansion, offering you a little smile and a wave as you climbed the steps, he had mentioned something about the biscuits running out soon, his maid had family and once he had shared with them, he'd need more in at least two days' time. You reached the top, turning to see if he'd moved away, he had not. He bows and you curtsy before you slip into the warmth of your home.
As soon as you close the door you place your back against it, as if to block him out. That was not what you had imagined him to look like, you had expected a man in his early forties, perhaps a similar age to your father. You had not expected a young man, a man who's waistcoat fit snugly around his figure, a man who had beautiful fluffy hair. With eyes as dark as the chocolate you so rarely had. Your heart had been beating too fast the whole time you were there, that's what happened to all the women in the books you read when they loved someone, but surely that was over dramatic? Too soon? You wished you had someone to ask but it was just you and your father here now and you doubted he had the answer to this. 
The real problem did not lie in your beating heart, nor in the new strange emotion you felt but rather in the fact that when he had asked you if you'd bring more biscuits, you'd said you could bring some the very next day. And after all of that, you hadn't asked him a single question about London. Sighing, you make sure your door is locked before heading up to your chamber. The rest of the house is dead quiet, you can’t bring yourself to care anyways. You didn’t particularly want to see your father. You'd get up early in the morning and make more biscuits.
***
When Taehyung woke up the next morning he realised two things.
that it would be rude of him to not go introduce himself to Y/N's father, they were neighbors now after all.
that he had some very interesting dreams last night and the majority of them involved Y/N. He had woken up with a very prominent erection. He would need to see her again and soon.
He sat up in bed, having disregarded the bedclothes last night. He was alone, it wasn't like there was a risk of being indecent, plus he'd needed to touch himself. Taehyung could see his reflection in the mirror opposite the bed. Whilst looking at himself he wonders if she'd be able to handle the size of him. He places his hand around his dick, dragging it up and down in a loose grip- pretending his hand is Y/N. He assumes she is a virgin - only tightening his grip with this thought. He tries to imagine how she'd sound, but that's something he won't be able to tell until the moment comes, he would make that moment happen, he'd do anything to insure it. What would he have to do, and to what extent, to make Y/N his? The movement of his hand along his dick is almost painful now. Balls tightening more and more with every thrust his hips make into his hand. He cums, shooting white liquid up his stomach. It runs through the valley of his abdominal muscles like a river between two mountains. He would never look at Y/N the same again. In less than an hour he would be introducing himself to her father with the traces of his cum on his stomach the thought of it oddly turned him on. Instead, he headed for the bathroom where he would wash it off. There were times for such things and they weren't for when he was introducing himself to an elder.
***  
An hour after you'd baked the biscuits you were standing in your chamber, paintbrush between your teeth, painting a figure into one of your old landscape photos of the house across the brook. You hated to admit that the figure was Taehyung, but it only made sense, you hadn't stopped thinking of him.
You step back from the painting, wondering what it was that was missing exactly. There was Taehyung in his blue overcoat as he had been yesterday. It doesn’t seem enough. You can hardly tell it's him in the picture but if you had studied his figure, as you had plenty of times in the hour you had with him, you would know it was him.
There's a knocking at the door downstairs, it echoes around the whole mansion like the chiming of bells. Climbing over the pots and brushes you have thrown across your room, you hang your head from the open window. From this angle you can't see the front door but you can see the carriage drive. It's empty. Who would visit who didn't have a carriage?
Not caring much about your paint splattered dress you step from your room. Vaguely aware of the paint on your face, you choose to ignore it as you race down the stairs. At the door is your father, who is just opening it as you make it to the landing. However you're much more interested in what's behind the door. Your father obviously doesn't connect the dots as he sees the young man standing at the top of your steps. You, however, become much more worried about the current state of your appearance. "Good morning sir, I'm Kim Taehyung" 
Your father stares at him blankly as Taehyung offers his hand to shake. "The new gentleman across the brook?" He asks. Nodding Taehyung smiles at your father, perfectly white teeth on show. From where you're standing he can't seem to see you. You debate running back upstairs before your father lets him in. But you're too late, your father's shaking his hand and pulling him through the door at the same time. There's no hiding now. "My God Y/N!" your father exclaims at seeing you. "I told you not to wear such disgraceful garments out of your room! you'll have to excuse her" he turns to Taehyung, "she's not very well socialised."
You blush, Taehyung must notice you backing away. "It's really not a worry sir, I am already acquaintances with your daughter, she brought me biscuits yesterday evening, I suppose under your instructions"
If your father was to take credit for your ideas, you would have cried, instead your father explodes "I did not advise such an act! I apologise for her rogue mannerisms." You knew he had not been listening to you yesterday. As the pair walk past the bottom of the stairs, therefore past you, Taehyung rolls his eyes and then winks at you. 
"I very much enjoyed the biscuits" he announces, it's a response to your father, but he's looking at you as he says it. Tickling erupts on the inside of your stomach. You place a hand on it, having never felt this feeling before. Taehyung watches your hand as it lands on your abdomen. You don't understand why but he's smirking as he follows your father into the study. It dawns upon you that you do not have a great understanding of the outside world nor the feelings that Taehyung has brung with it. The two men disappear behind the study door, and you run over to place your ear to the key-hole.
“Does she paint?” he asks your father, why this isn’t a question he can just ask you is unbeknownst to you.
“I believe so” your father mumbles, the topic of his daughter seems to put him in a foul mood.
“You believe so?” Taehyung sounds upset, as if the response he had received wasn’t enough.
“There becomes a stage in a man's life when he stops caring about the women around him. He stops caring about silly things like paintings. You understand me don’t you.”
“I don’t believe I do, sir,” Taehyung replies. There's a harshness to his voice you had yet to have heard. You bring a hand up to cover the huff of surprise your mouth admits. If you were to talk back to your father like that you’d be slapped and denied food for a day. When your father doesn’t reply Taehyung continues. “I would like to view her paintings if you would permit it.”
“Of course,” Your father replies, annoyed. Then he asks Taehyung a question using so many business words you give up trying to listen to their conversation and focus more, or panic more, on the fact Taehyung was coming to view your paintings. There seems to be no other option than to sprint up the stairs and at least try to tidy it up a little. 
You’re in the middle of stuffing an old awful painting under your bed when the door knocks. “Give me a moment father and I’ll be out!” you shout, trying to be oblivious after eavesdropping.
“It’s Taehyung,” he replies. “May I come in”
You pause before answering. You could probably tell him to go away and he would. “Oh! Come in!” You’re up from under your bed now. Currently the main painting on display was the one with him in, you figured that he wouldn’t have looked in a mirror long enough to tell that it was his figure anyway. It was still slightly embarrassing. The door knob twisted and he filled the doorway with his figure.
“This is your chamber and workroom?!” was the first thing he asked, you blush, embarrassed both with the fact he was in the only place you stood naked each night, and that he was judging your way of life.
“It’s not ideal.” you reply, deciding to go for the truth. “I tried painting in the parlor but father was not best pleased.”
He nods his head but doesn’t reply to you, beginning to walk around your room of paintings. Wildflowers. Your father at his desk. A deer in snow. The view of the fields beyond from your window. You're shaking. Stopping at the painting you were most dreading, he tilts his head.
“Are they...” he pauses and his lip curves to the side, “kissing?”
"Um" you begin. "Is it off?" no longer caring that it's him and more concerned with your painting. "Her neck is at the wrong angle isn't it!" you exclaim, you're next to him now contemplating the painting together, as you had done with the portrait over his fireplace. This had been one of your very first paintings of people, you’d read from a men's guide to kissing that you had brought from one of the second hand stores in the town. It was the best you could do, you’d never seen two people kiss before. 
Taehyung moves on from that painting to the next, your most recent painting, the one with him in it. You daren’t look at him to see his reaction, instead you wipe a little paint off the bottom of the frame, hoping to distract him from, well, himself.
“I like this one” he smiles, “though I think it's missing something”
You’re too scared to reply to him so instead you just nod your head. It’s funny how he thought the same as you. “You capture the house really well, and the blue of my coat.”
Hands shaking you go to apologise to him. It wasn’t fair of you to paint him without his permission, but he’s moving back to the kissing scene again. Following behind him like a shadow you both end up staring at the painting. You’re aware of him looking at you from the corner of his eye. Your breath catches in your throat. Down the stairs you can hear your father moving about in his study. The rest of the house seems to be in an anxious science, holding its breath, as if it expects something to happen. Do you expect something to happen? He fully turns to you, his focus no longer on the painting, placing one of his hands on your shoulder. Your body freezes, though warmth spreads down your arm and into your body where his hand touches your dress. “Taehyung?” you're aware that your voice sounds so quiet in the greatness of the room. 
He pushes your shoulder slightly so you’re facing him. The whole room blurs and it's only him that you can see. He's like an angel sent from God, his bright light blinds you. “I could show you, Y/N”
Show you what? There's so much in this world that you want to see, want to experience. “Show me what?” you ask him, your brain is too innocent, too behind to pick up on what Taehyung really means. 
“How to kiss, then after that” he pauses, looking at his small figure in the picture behind you. “I could show you anything” lessening the grip he has on your shoulders. You feel no pressure in your answer, you could say no, he’s so close to you. 
“I’d like that” you reply, your mouth staying slightly agape at the eagerness in your tone, you hadn’t realised you were so keen. Smiling, Taehyung brings his thumb up to his mouth, he runs it between his lips, as if to wet them with his spit, then he’s bringing it to your face. This wasn’t how you imagined a kiss to be and, instinctively, step back. 
“Don’t worry Y/N, this isn’t a kiss, I am wiping paint off your cheek” his thumb makes contact with your skin and a blush rushes up to your cheeks. Why were you so responsive to his touch? “I won’t kiss you today”
Your lip sticks out in immediate disappointment, “I want you to think on it more” he admits. “You only get one first kiss.” 
“How long do I have to think about it?” you ask, you were hit by the insufferable feeling of being so naïve, so behind where you should be in the experience of your life, that it was embarrassing. You’re sure a kiss will solve this. You’re sure Taehyung will solve this.
“Tomorrow” he has removed his thumb from your cheek now, but his other hand is caressing your face. He runs slow circles between your eye and your hair and, nature guiding you, you lean into his touch further. This, you realise, is what intimacy was. You had once read the definition in a dictionary
close familiarity or friendship.
When you had first read it, you had realised that you had never had any intimacy with anyone. It was as foreign to you as flying was to a dog, or walking was to a baby. Your eyes are wide in shock, your legs only just holding your weight up. Taehyung is smiling at you softly when he removes his hand. Your body is as attached to this area of your floor as a tree to soil. “I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow” he steps over a paint brush and pot, you want to stop him but your tongue has been stolen from you. He’s at your door now, pulling it shut behind him. He’s hidden behind the near closed door when he softly says “I’ll show you everything, Y/N”
Then he’s gone. 
You hear the front door shut. 
Without his biscuits. 
thank you for reading!
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pennyluna · 9 months ago
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Misunderstandings Part 1
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Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (18+) Wordcount: around 1.5k
Genre: New to working together au. Cold playboy au. Future something au.
WARNING: This story contains some bad words/strong language! Contains also spicy scenes, so please be aware before reading it.
It has been a week since my team started working with Yoongi, the week had been filled with meetings about coordination between the teams, some of the meetings were one on one basically so I could get a sense of what he expected from me during this 5 weeks, it was fairly easy to agree on the way we could handle things, starting from the fact that I would have to be available 24/7 just in case I was needed! I had been going home around 8pm every day and always kept my phone on me with the ringer.
Yoongi was going to be in the studio all day tomorrow, which meant I didn't have to go into the office so I decided to relax tonight, took a long shower, moisturized and did my relaxing ritual, put on a grey tank top, no bra and some shorts, wrapped my long wavy dark hair in a towel and walked to the kitchen.
I make sure the bottle of Sauvignon blank that I bought on my way home was cold and put out two wine glasses, one for me and one for my girl best friend Josie, she is on her way over so we can gossip and watch reality shows. Josie has been my best friend since middle school, fun fact her fiancé is also my best friend. Even bigger fun fact, I had been on a date with Zion when we were in college but we quickly agreed that a friendship was the thing for us, I introduced them during one of Josie's visits on campus and now 4 years later they are just a few months away from getting married.
I hear her emergency key to my apartment in the lock and start preparing the popcorn.
"Zion is driving me crazy!!" she says with an exasperated tone while closing the front door.
I laugh at her facial expression, she is going for annoyed but it looks cute on her.
"Hello to you too... what did he do now?"
"He keeps changing our funny dance for the wedding!"
"you mean your first dance?" I say with a confused face while pouring the wine and handing her a glass.
she takes a big sip "Nono, 'Cant help falling in love' is still our song but he saw online that people like doing some funny dance trend after and You know I'm not good at dancing."
Josie comes from a rich conservative family, she is very classy and polished, never late and never a hair out of place, so I was surprised when she told me she was in love with Zion, his style very much the opposite of her but both with a heart of gold.
I laugh at the thought of Josie dancing some TikTok challenge.
"Oh josie...you are a great dancer, just not with the new stuff!" i try to comfort her and we walk to the couch.
We are under the fluffy blankets watching our third episode of love island UK season 10, we had finished the USA one a couple of weeks ago. Suddenly my phone starts ringing, the word OFFICE written in the screen, I look at the time "11:34 pm". Josie and I look at each other with confusion in our faces, she pauses the show and I shake my head trying to shake the 2 glasses of wine off my system and then proceed to answer the call.
"Hello (Y/N), this is the security from the building, sorry for calling you so late, Mr. Min is here at the office trying to access the studio but he had left his keys inside and the other copy isㅡ"
"is in my bag!" I say simultaneously facepalming my face. "I will be there in 15 minutes" luckily I don't live far away from it.
Hanging up I rush to the room, put a pair of skinny jeans on, my classic vans and put my hair on a messy ponytail. The taxi Josie had called for me was here already so I rushed out of the door telling her I would be back soon.
7 minutes later I was in front of my building, greeted the security and proceeded to the 19th floor, were the studio is. Yoongi is waiting right in front of the elevator doors when they open and I get surprised to see him in his very relaxed outfit. Hair covering his gorgeous forehead, his phone in one hand and the other one in his pocket, his eyes rise up to meet mine and I smile at him. We start walking to the elevator, he is behind me and I don't know if its his presence or the wine but I feel my cheeks heating up and warmth running through me. I open the door for him and try to hand the keys to him.
"do you want to come in for a while?" he asks with a blank expression.
"mmm sure." dammit, I am supposed to be just dropping the keys off.
I walk past him and he closes the door behind us. Its a normal studio, with little touches of him, a couple of basketball gadgets and some posters, a couch with some pretty purple cushions and a blanket, he had made it his own.
"would you like some more wine?" his question takes my attention out of looking around his studio.
"mmm sure. thank you. Waitㅡ 'more'?" my face expressing my confusion.
He has a small smile on his face while pouring me a glass "yeah, more! I noticed you have a slight scent of wine on you, so you must have been drinking some before coming here".
aww, he was smelling meㅡ Stop. waitㅡ oh my god did that mean I smell of alcohol?. oh God, that's not very professional.
"hey, its not a problem you know. I like wine, so you know... you smell good" his words snapping me out of my small mental freak out. "plus, you weren't even supposed to be coming here so don't worry about it." he hands me the glass of wine.
We've been seated on his couch and talking casually about the things we like and our passions for a couple of hours now, I feel really comfortable around him and he seems comfortable around me! He said something funny and I pushed his leg in a jokingly manner but when I tried to retrieve my hand he grabbed it pulling me closer to him, we stopped laughing suddenly and stared into each others eyes, he bit his bottom lip and shacked his head no subtly, like if he was shaking away a thought. His eyes started roaming my frame and My heartbeat accelerated once I noticed where his gaze had stopped.
My nipples were hard and he could see their outline through my tank top. Shit!!! I didn't put on bra. I should say goodnight and walk away but why aren't my legs moving?! I feel warmth spreading through my thighs.
"It's late!" He suddenly gets up and it startles me. "Maybe you should go home!"
"huh? maybe you should go home!" I say with defiance, -why cant i just shut up-.
"(Y/N)!" -my name sounds so good in his voice- "You are drunk and I'm afraid you will regret any decision we take after this point!"
He is making sense, he has a point, plus we are working together, we need to maintain a professional relationship so I get up and start walking past him and towards the door, I say goodbye and walk to the elevator. Pressing the button to call the elevator I realize that my keycard to leave the building is in my bag with my phone and my house keys -damm it- I walk back to the studio where Yoongi hadn't closed the door yet for some reason and when his eyes reached mine, I swear there was a little hope in them. I walked past him again and grabbed my bag then turned around to wave goodbye.
He stayed still for a while, like contemplating what to do, he raised his hand to wave back but he seemed hesitant. I started to walk to the door when suddenly he grabbed my wrist. I stopped breathing for a second and my heart started beating faster.
"Maybe you should stay!" he says softly. while pulling me towards him until my chest is flat against his. I can feel his breath on my face. A hint of whiskey on it.
"Maybe you should stay too!"
He smiles at my statement and that seemed to be all the permission he needed because his hand started to travel from my waist to my breast while the other one held my chin up while he watched me and the kisses me.
It was gentle at first and then became passionate, one of those kisses that take your breath away and make you dizzy. He kissed like I belonged to him, like no one had kissed me before and I was loving it.
His hand move to the front of my jeans and start undoing the buttons, his mouth now trailing my neck. my jeans come off and we move around, he leans my ass against his desk and starts trailing wet kisses from my neck down. He sucks my nipples through the tank top and starts rubbing my core.
"so wet for me already huh?" I moan and put my hands on the desk to balance myself a bit. His mouth trails down my body until I can feel his warm breath on top of my core, his fingers slowly move my panties to the side and the he assaults my clit with his mouth. -so much talent in that mouth-.
Yoongi's tongue is all over my clit and I feel my orgasm building. I cant control my moans and thank god this place is soundproof. He starts alternating between tongue fucking me and playing with my clit and I am almost at my high. The minute his hand grabs my hips to keep me still I cant control myself any longer and come. "Good girl! You taste amazing". he smirks.
"My turn!!" I smile at him and fall to my knees, looking up at him and holding the eye contact I start lowering his sweatpants. I was surprised to notice he wasn't wearing any underwear and his erection almost smacked my face when it came out of his pants!
I start holding his dick and licking the tip of it, he exhales a shaky breath and I slowly introduce his erection in my mouth. Starting to suck in and out of my mouth at first slowly and then increasing my pace, I cup his balls in my hand and then continue to suck him off at a fast pace! he is moaning and throwing his head back and I can feel it wont take him long before reaching his orgasm! I slow down my pace to tease him a little and we make eye contact again, he seems hungry for me, he wants me.
"Get up!" after taking the rest of his clothes off, he helps me get up and he takes my tank top and underwear then stares at my body for a second, I can see hunger in those eyes, hunger for me. I can see he cant decide on what to play with first. "Bend over my desk!" he commands -I guess he decided where to start- my boobs are now pressed flat against his desk, it is cold and I feel my nipples hardening.
His hands start caressing my ass and touching my clit "You are a sight. I've been wanting to bend you over my desk ever since the first day when you gave us that building tour" he says and I instantly moaned out of neediness, I need him inside of me now!.
"YOONGIㅡ"
"My god I love how you say my name... keep saying it princess!" -fuuck I want to come again so bad- he continues touching me and then I fill his hand get to the back of my neck pinning me to the desk and his other hand rubbing his dick around my folds.
"Yoongi, I needㅡ" he shut me up with his dick entering me hard, I moaned loudly and he waited a second to let me adjust then started pumping into me hard and at a fast pace. I became a moaning mess and my orgasm started building again, he used his free had to spank my ass and I moaned again, my eyes got teary but I was enjoying this. I was enjoying being fucked senseless. I enjoyed the pain mixed with pleasure that he was giving me. I needed it. After all, it had been almost two years since the last time I had sex.
I notice his pace getting faster and faster "Come for me princess! I want you to come!" he says with a commanding voice. Our orgasms hit us couple of seconds later, his seed all over my lower back!
We are both panting. He takes a second to clean me up, then opens a drawer grabbing a t-shirt from it and giving it to me. We sit on the couch to rest for a bit he kisses my forehead and suddenly the exhaustion and the wine get to me and I fall asleep in his arms!
I wake up the day after with a strong headache, I feel around for my phone that should be on my bedside table but then open my eyes to realize I'm still on the couch in the studio. Yoongi isn't in the couch anymore so I look around and see him working at his desk on the computer. I breathe a sight of relief. I reach for my jeans put them on and then walk towards him.
"Your bag and keys are by the piano" eyes fixed to the screen and monotone voice.
"Thanks!" I say hesitant about what to do next. "Would youㅡ" he cuts me off.
"I will see you at the meeting this afternoon." This time his voice sounds annoyed and dismissive. A bad feeling downs on me.
I grab my things and once I'm at the door I look back, expecting him to at least look at me before I go but nothing. -He regrets it-  that thought hurt, more than my headache!
While waiting for my taxi I realized that its 6am, that I had left Josie at home waiting for me and that I had royally fucked up by sleeping with the VIP, that he seemed to regret it to the point of not being able to look at me and that the meeting where I will have to see him in a few hours will be hard.
A.N: This is part 1 of this story, Hope you can enjoy it. Please if you want, read the prologue of this story too. I am not clear on how many parts it will have but hopefully many more, I have already mapped out how the story will continue but publishing it depends on the readers request.
A.N 2: any feedback would be appreciated! Likes and conditions are appreciated too! Please do not copy my work and give credit if reshared!
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iriswestallenn · 4 months ago
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This season was a mess
Season 1: My brother took his life and has left me his restaurant. Do I deserve this? Do I take this on? How do I navigate this grief?
Season 2: We found a shit ton of money plus uncle Jimmy is lending us more. We decide to tear down the beef and build The Bear. There is a deadline, we need to get it together, and we need to make this deadline.
Season 3: ...???? The restaurant is up and running. They are digging a bigger hole for themselves. Jimmy is broke now? Carmy is hung up on Claire. Everyone keeps bringing up Claire. Carmy and Syd have zero communication. They barely speak. Not even as friends- keep that. AS BUSINESS PARTNERS. Not once does Carmy ask why Syd hasn't signed the fucking contract that HE brought up to her. This season started off strong but wow wtf happened.
I wanna focus on two examples that I think illustrate how off this season was: I loved the standalone episodes. I cried during the Nat and Donna one. They were wonderful episodes that did not tie back into the plot because there was none. Season 2 we have a Marcus standalone right? Why did that one work whereas I feel these two didn't? (Again, I really enjoyed these episodes. This is about nothing flowing well) Because Marcus was sent to Copenhagen to become a better pastry chef. He was a cook in a sandwich place who did desserts on the side! He traveled to learn from Luca so The Bear could have a pastry chef. Woo! It all ties in.
Next, a flashback in S2 that worked. The Christmas episode. We meet their mom, Carmy brings up the restaurant idea to Mikey. We see Mikey's state of mind, we get background on Sugar's nickname/how she got it. We see how the family treats Carmy. We get a bunch of them asking Carmy if he's gonna ask Claire out. We get Richie and Tiff still together in contrast to present day Richie dealing with his ex getting a fiancé. Almost every single thing we got in this flashback related back to present day concerns. We touched so many corners. Mikey, Donna, Richie, Sugar. In ONE flashback.
Whereas, Tina's (bless her she's a doll) did nothing for the present day story. We see Tina struggle, we never get to hear the exact reason why. Does she hate this new environment? Does she wish she was just making sandwiches with Ebra? Is Carmy getting on her nerves? Sure, that could be a given but they never let her say it. We get her flashback that focuses on finding a new job, and the convo she has with Mikey. The convo is mostly about dreams, wants. I saw someone say that Tina's episode was an ode to everyone just trying to try. Not looking for a title, not competing, just trying. I agree and I love that. Why did it not relate to whatever she's going through in present day?
The rebuttal for my critiques could be, not everything has to tie in. Some things can be standalone. That's true but in my opinion... it shouldn't be done for a 40 min 10 episode show. Esp not one that tied in the flashbacks and standalone episodes in previous seasons. Why did we suddenly stop doing that this season?
This season felt aimless. Let's talk about Claire lmao when Tiff brought up Claire on that bench with Richie, I went huh??? TIFF is bringing up Claire now? WHY! I had to remind myself that she is literally a family friend they've all known for yeaaars. But me? We, the audience? We don't fucking know Claire! "She's his peace." His WHAT? When??? Stop trying to convince me of this and show me in season 1 and 2 that this woman is his peace.
If you decide to drag this Claire shit out for the entire season, oh bby, you're gonna need the audience to feel the same anguish Carmy is feeling. We should be thinking, fuck, Fak is right she is his peace because remember when she pulled him out of x y z? But at the same time they're not good for each other right now because of x y z. We have so little to go off of with these two and they made Carmy hung up on her the whole season lmaoo please.
I'll end with that, actually. You mean to tell me that the entire restaurant let Carmy act like that for months and NO ONE- not even broke ass Jimmy, told him, you need to stop. It took "Computer" coming in to get them just a little bit together? And even then? Still switching the menu, still not listening to Syd, still butting heads with Richie? You shitting me? And does Carmy know he's a fucking uncle now? DOES HE CARE? Oh fuck me this season was ass.
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zabala0z · 2 months ago
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TMA S3 makes me want to cry and like shake around the characters in a fun box. Anyways hi!!! I’m here like 5 mins later.
MAG 102:
“I’ve been trying to give you the information you need”
“Sure, when you’re not bashing its head in with a pipe” GAGGED.
I want to know what happened though with Helen and Jon???? Like did they talk, what did Jon do?? I need to know. Is Michael like fully dead? I guess he can’t die really. I can’t fully grasp the situation with Michael-Helen-The Spiral.
Anyways, I guess that’s why Not! Sasha was going to the wax museum. That’s where the Unknowing will happen. Cannot blame Melanie for trying to kill Elias again. I’d do it too. So, this French guy had like a pretty similiar situation to Jane Prentiss, with the whole “bugs love me and I love them, etc”. Crazy Gerard and Gertrude worked together??? The weirdest duo ever. Goth guy and old woman. I wanna know Gerard Keays deal. I need to hear his voice
Not much on MAG 103. Guess that’s why Gertrude went to New Zealand. Jon is cooking up a plan with Daisy and I’m praying it goes well. Another meat statement. Whatever the meat entity is, I want nothing to do with it. I also realized that when Leitner mentioned his assistant getting consumed by like a pile of meat, that’s like connected to MAG 18. Toby Carlisle. I’ll edit that post. (EDIT 9/2: I just realized when reading over MAG 58 that the cannibalistic guy is named Benjamin Carlisle. Jesus. This meat theme went through generations. Ill edit that post as well)
MAG 104: Sneak Preview
I hate this so much, I want to like give Tim a nice blanket. Everyone in this podcast needs a damn blanket.
The fact the theatre was destroyed by fire twice makes me think The Desolation had something to do with it cause y’know fire. The clown being Joseph Grimaldi is interesting. A real person being applied to the podcast, I think that’s cool. I mean bros dead it’s a free real estate. Also I’m a bit worried about Tim and his “mild” suicidal tendencies now.
Didn’t glean much from MAG 105 but a lot of death (of course, it’s about war) and like the undead. Xiaoling was sweet. Interesting the institute has a sister institute?? I hope they come up more
MAG 106: A Matter of Perspective
Oh hey, it’s the other guy from Personal Space! Apparently he didn’t have a better time than Carter Chilcot. Pretty sure this is another like The Vast statement y’know. The whole nihilism thing. I want to see Manuela’s story because it was said her fingers were burned, her eyes were red and she was withdrawn I believe so clearly something happened with her. No idea what was blocking the stars.
Elias. I swear, I swear I hate this man so much 😭 the fact Mealnies dad was in Ivy Meadows (MAG 36) is unlucky. Smoke inhalation would’ve been the better death. God I love Melanie like leave her alone Elias
Anyways! That’s all I got. I stopped taking my daily synopsis’s of every episode because school started up and while I love this podcast, I got things to do unfortunately 💀 so I’m just relying on my brain and my 10/10 memory.
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WIBTA if I called animal services on my parent's neighbours?
I want to begin this with saying neither me nor my parents get on with my parent's neighbours. My parents live in a rural area with about 6 acres of land. The field next door used to be just a large field however 6 years ago got brought by a middle age couple (50 and 65) and they built a house on it with the majority of the field still being used for their horses.
We never got on but for the most part just ignored each other until covid. During covid my parents started walking in the woods behind our house to get out of the house on a daily bases whereas before they would have gone travelling and walking other places. The new neighbours didn't like this. Both properties open directly onto foresty land however the easiest way to get to the main forest path is to walk along the fence that borders neighbours field. To cut a long story short there was a lot of shouting, signs and sticks blocking our way, harassment, and cameras to try and intimidate my parents not to walk behind their property. We got the police involved in the end and have a restraining order against the neighbours so they're not allowed to approach or talk to us within reason (obviously they can be in the field to tend to the horses etc)
I wanted to tell this to get the point that yeah parents and neighbours do not get on at all. Since the restraining order things have been peaceful however I did install a camera at the front of my parents property as we did have some damage that might have been neighbours but could have been anything else really. This was recommended by the police. My parents aren't good with tech so I take care of their phones/netflix and now having the camera connected to my phone so I get the alerts if someone walks by.
The neighbours recently got two puppies though they are now over a year old. They are GSP x Labs so working dogs that in my opinion would need a lot of exercise and enrichment. As I get the notifications for the camera I know what time the neighbour walks past with the dogs and it's every day down the same country road for 10 to 20 mins in the morning. To me it doesn't seem to be enough. I've also noticed since the dogs are growing up and getting stronger/not trained the neighbour seems to be struggling with them. My neighbour is 65 but not the fittest and this past week he's been taking one dog at a time for a 5 minute walk each.
Now all I have is the knowledge of the camera. They could be getting enrichment at home, let loose in the field with the horses to run but to me it just doesn't seem fair on the dogs. But since it's been peaceful for my parents I don't want to rock the boat and maybe cause the neighbours to retaliate. Even anon they probably would know who it is who called the animal services on them. But I also hate to see dogs not living their best life. I have no doubt they aren't getting mistreated and are well fed. I just don't think they are the right dogs for an middle age couple that do not leave the house except to get shopping and can barely give them a 10 minute walk. I don't even really agree with how they keep their horses either but again they're not mistreating them just keeping young horses in a field all day and not doing any training or anything at all with them. Just seems unfair.
Sorry for the long post, just been weighing on my mind.
What are these acronyms?
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lurkingshan · 9 months ago
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Cherry Magic Episode 10
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They tried it again this week with adding another restriction on this show, but we shall persevere! The rest of the episodes are apparently going to be behind a paywall on Viu on air date, and then become free access the following day. The upside to paying the small premium membership fee is we can finally see Tay Tawan in 1080p as god intended (and pro tip: there do not seem to be any screen limits, buy one account and split it amongst friends).
With all that figured out, we got to another excellent episode of this show! Big, big relationship growth for Achi and Karan this week, as they learned that hiding their real feelings and desires from each other doesn't help them (and gave us an A+ forehead kiss parallel). I loved the nuance of it all, too—Karan was lying about sitting outside Achi's house every night and trying to hide how sad he was about Achi missing Loy Krathong, but he also genuinely had no anger toward Achi about it and was just trying to make things easier for him. And Achi was telling Karan he wanted the practice time apart (honestly, horrible idea boys, your time together is precious) while secretly hoping Karan would come see him anyway. In relationships, you can't claim to want one thing while secretly hoping for another and expect that to pan out for you.
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And I love that Achi did realize that, and that he does trust Karan even despite these little white lies, and that this time, he had to step up and be the one to make the grand gesture to make sure Karan knows he loves him and will miss him. Roping in the office gang to help pull off the surprise was a fun turn of events, and I love that his confidence has grown enough that he can ask for that help without being embarrassed. They're going to be fine through this separation, and when they are back together I look forward to the show addressing the elephant in the room, because when they were walking together on their date I couldn't help but notice that they would have been holding hands were it not for the barrier Achi's powers present. They need to be able to have intimacy while maintaining privacy and mental space, and we know what needs to happen to get there!
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I also loved the Jinta/Min story this episode, and that we got to see Jinta do a much less dignified version of Karan's pining. The plot about fans shipping Min with his dance partner was new and felt like exactly the kind of thing that would come up in his career, and that Jinta would flail over. I like that Min saw exactly what was going on and called him on it. The irony of Jinta being the one who can read minds but Min being the one who actually understands everything happening between them is delicious. And Jinta showed up for him in a big way after his loss by not only affirming how he sees Min, but showing Min that he still has fans who feel the same way. Excellent boyfriend behavior from our friend Jinta.
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As for Rock and Pai, it looks like we'll be getting our final answer there next week, but given that Pai continues to be uninterested in romance and focused on her work and her hobbies, I don’t think it will go the way Rock hopes. He is barking up the wrong tree (his instincts for romance are clearly NOT strong, given he had no idea Achi and Karan were a couple), and I am hopeful that Pai will tell him so next week.
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dangermousie · 2 months ago
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Best kdrama you have probably never heard of - Someday (2006)
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"I can't breathe because my heart is filled with thoughts of you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."
Answering the ask about my perfect kdramas made me think of and want to make a pusher post for the most underrated drama on that list Someday, starring Bae Doona, Lee Jin Wook, Kim Min Joon and Oh Yoon Ah.
When she was 17, Hana (Bae Doona), a Korean brought up in Japan by her grandmother, won a prestigious award and was launched on a career as a popular manga artist in Japan. The same day Hana was launched on her path to popularity and fame, Seokman (Lee Jin Wook) was having the worst day of his life -- he and his family were involved in a car crash, leaving him the only survivor. Fast forward three years or so and the paths of Hana, now a well-known mangaka who is facing a creative drought, and Seokman, now a sort of a missing-persons detective, are about to collide.
This is both an old drama (2006) and also one released on OCN back when it was just starting, so even back when I originally watched it 15 years ago, it was not well known. It's such a pity - this one is on my Top 10 kdramas list of all time for a reason. There are so many reasons as to why this deserves to be better known - it has a delicious off-beat vibe and in some ways it reminds me on an old school jdrama with its realistic feel and its meditation on life; but it retains old school kdrama strengths of romance and suffering and gorgeous cinematography. Its love story, which made me cry and cry and then grin like a lunatic and hug my pillows - it's so unexpected and sneaks up on you and then grabs and refuses to let go. Its stories of alienation and connections and families lost and found and made. Its laid-back charm which lures you in until you, all relaxed, are whacked with the darkness at the core, and are left gasping for breath (full disclosure - this drama made me cry more than once.)
It is also a chance for you to see some wonderful performances. The always sublime Bae Doona is well...sublime, as the quirky Hana who has locked her capacity for warmth and caring far away due to childhood loss - when the story starts she is almost an alien dropped among those weird humans - curious, exploratory, and oh-so-different. One of the biggest pleasures of the drama is to watch her learn to become fully human - to feel compassion, to feel love. Lee Jin Wook is one of my huge kdrama crushes and he doesn't disappoint, playing his character with so much sweetness that you get lulled into a false sense of security and don't realize just how much damage and despair Seokman has inside, until you are confronted with it, and then go "of course - it all makes sense now." His chemistry with Bae Doona is just so pitch-perfect - their whole relationship is so full of discovery and hope and tentativeness for both of them. You can't help but root for these two very damaged people to work it out and heal each other. She has no emotions but he has no hope or self-worth - and the biggest pleasure for me was to watch both of them recover what they lack. The drama Someday reminds me of most is my favorite twdrama, Mars - the two horribly damaged protagonists with vastly different coping mechanisms make each other better. It goes dark sometimes, terribly dark, but ultimately it's the story of new beginnings and of hope.
Kim Min Joon and Oh Yoon Ah are not secondary characters in this - every member of the quartet (and they are not really a love quartet in the usual sense) is equally important. If Hana and Seokman are horribly wounded children, both KMJ and OYA play grown-ups. If you are expecting a typical older kdrama evil secondary girl, you are in for a disappointment. OYA's Hae Young is the sanest, best person in the quartet, and the one most in touch with her feelings, which include her unrequited love for her best friend Jin Pyo (KMJ). And speaking of Kim Min Joon - he plays perhaps the most controversial character in this - a psychiatrist who gloms onto Hana as a representation of his fanboy fantasies, not a real woman (he does not get to know the real Hana the way Seokman does) and who is the one most in control and delights in manipulation. But I ended up liking him nonetheless - in a way, he was caught in a bubble as much as Hana was, only this bubble was of his own willful making.
My favorite scene? Because I am a sadist, it's the sequence leading to Seokman's suicide attempt (it's either that or he gets done in, due to the debts) - his counting how many minutes he has left and getting his math wrong, his visiting the hospital and tying up all the loose ends, his scene on the river bank with Hana, his suicide attempt itself, when he walks off limping and muttering "stupid stupid stupid" not able to think of anything but that he failed.
This drama is SO GOOD and SO UNDERRATED and really should be watched.
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valeffelees · 7 months ago
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Oh do tell about that snowbaz au of yours 👀
I WOULD FUCKING LOVE TO, thank you so much tumblr user pidgelikethebird (and also my most beloved and loyal companion @drowninginships) for providing me the enrichment i need to survive the winter.
ok gimme a min here to turn my thoughts into comprehensible words. i'm gonna say right now: this post is gonna be a LONG one, but 10 out of 10 scientists agree you should read to the end.
so, if you didn't know, The Beauty Inside is a Korean romcom from 2015, based off an American short film of the same name; the orig short film i linked is an extremely quick watch (only 6 episodes, each one 4-10 minutes long) and i would absolutely recommend it, but the very basics of the premise is that: a man wakes up in his bed on his 18th birthday to find he's in a completely different body than his own, and every day since then, he wakes up as somebody new.
AND OBVS I JUST HAD TO FUCKING SNOWBAZ THAT, which is how my AU, titled In the Many Ways of Loving You, was born:
Simon Snow wakes up every day as somebody new; the only person who knows the truth is Penny, his best friend and roommate, since she's been by his side since it all began ten years ago.
he works on commission as a custom bookbinder—like, he has an Etsy or some shit, i dunno, some kinda online shop where people can commission him in a variety of ways to rebind their favourite books, either by paying extra for Simon to buy the book himself and rebind it from new and send it to them, or sometimes collectors will send their personal copies to him to have him rebind them, and he's very good at it, and N E WAY the point of this is that he has a small bookshop he's been going to regularly for the last eight or so years, because it's close to his and Penny's flat, and where the story begins: Baz is a new employee that just started working there about two weeks ago and Simon has a massive crush on him.
ok, now. day one: when we meet Simon for the first time, he wakes up and he's lovely and blonde and brown-eyed and ok, yeah, i've just made him look like Agatha bc i thought it'd be kinda funny, esp since Agatha's not actually in the fic otherwise.
and Simon has to pick up a copy of some random book from the bookshop today bc someone bought a custom binding of it, so he goes down and, as usual, since it's his job, Baz has to come over to talk to him and is like, "hey, can I help you with anything?" and Simon doesn't need any help bc he's been coming to this shop for years, but every time Baz asks he says yes bc he wants the excuse to talk to him, and on this day Simon is like, wait. i'm so hot rn. so he asks Baz out—
and Baz is like [finger guns] absolutely not.
and Simon is like 👁️👄👁️ welp i'm in fucking agony.
but whatever, fine. a guy like Baz is prolly already in a proper relationship, and it's always a bad idea for Simon to get involved with someone he has to see on the reg. he had to start going to a different coffee shop that's twenty minutes out of his way bc he went out on a great date with one of the baristas at his old spot and then obvs couldn't go out again after just that one time, and it made him super emo, so really, Baz saying no was prolly for the best.
TIMESKIP, it's been a few days and Simon has to go down to the bookshop again. but this time he's a bloke. and so Baz comes up to ask if Simon needs help and he says yeah, as usual, and the two of them end up having a bantery convo about the book Simon's looking for bc they've both read it and Baz hated it, but Simon loved it, and it's just very cute and casual, and then Baz is like. so, my shift ends in liiike... four hours. are you doing anything?
and Simon is like. OH. OH!!!
that whole "it's prolly for the best" thing? yeah, fuck that, that was Simon of the past, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about bc cute bookshop guy wants to hang out and so they go out and have the most fucking insane romcom date ever.
'cause you gotta remember, Simon only gets one real day with people, so he doesn't do like casual coffee dates or movies or whatever. they go out and like fucking B&E a museum after hours bc Simon knows someone like the janitor or something (i dunno) leaves one of the back doors unlocked so he can step out for a cig every few hours, so they sneak in and have the time of their life running around looking at art while trying not to get caught, and we're going to use the suspended disbelief bestowed upon us by the power of romcoms to pretend security cameras aren't a thing, and it is BRILLIANT. like, Simon and Baz have so much chemistry, and when the night ends Baz is just like all smiles and creased eyes and messy black hair and, breathlessly: "I want to see you again."
and Simon's heart drops. because he wants to see Baz again, too, but he can't. no matter how much he wants to, he can't. when he wakes up tomorrow he's going to be someone new, so he can't, he can't, he can't, he—
"Yeah," he says. "Tomorrow?"
SIMON NO!!!
"It's a date."
FUCK!!!
ok, so now we have a problem. Simon can't just stand him up, i mean he could but he doesn't want to, and he really does want to see him again, so he does the only thing he can think of: he stays awake. all fucking night.
Baz, the next day: "You look exhausted."
Simon, wired asf on caffeine and trying to be smooth: "Had someone on my mind all night."
and then they go have another wicked date, but i have nothing in my notes about what it is. oh, i have them living in Canada in this fic btw bc as a rule, if a fic doesn't have to be set in England, i move them to Canada for comfort. so i might have them go cliff jumping or something? who knows. we'll go with that for now.
cue the romcom montage.
[mother tongue starts playing SO DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME FALA AMO, JUST LET YOUR HEART SPEAK UP AND I'LL KNOW]
ok. post-date. Simon is so dumb and infatuated with Baz and does something only a boy who is dumb and infatuated and sleep-deprived would do in his situation, and he goes back to Baz's flat with him to "watch a movie", or in other words: the movie starts and then they prolly have sex, but in my notes this is written as "??? smash ???" so i guess it's kinda up in the air.
either way, Simon passes the fuck out at Baz's place bc he was properly exhausted by that point, and he wakes up to Baz screaming at him bc obvs he looks like a different person now.
Simon, half-asleep: [PANICKED FLAILING] BAZ IT'S ME!!! STOP THROWING THINGS!!! BAZ!!! IT'S ME, IT'S SIMON!!!
and Baz is like: WHAT THE FUCK
and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN
and Baz is like: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE
and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN!!!
so, here's a detail from the orig film that comes into play here: in the orig movie, the MC keeps a video diary, logging every day what his face looks like, and in this, Simon does this on his phone and backs them up to his computer every hundred days, so he gives Baz his phone and tells him the whole story while Baz scrolls through these short like minute long videos of Simon on various days going, "Hey, this is me today. I have [this and such] thing to do, blah blah blah."
and the thing is, Baz recognises him in some of them. bc Simon is always coming into the bookshop. he stops watching when he gets to the day Simon looked like Agatha, and Simon has been quiet for a while at this point, just letting Baz process.
Baz: "I want you to leave."
Simon takes his phone without a word and goes. Penny picks him up on the corner a block over and drives him back to their flat. she doesn't ask what happened. she already has a pretty good idea.
when Simon's next commission comes in, he thinks about going to another bookshop, he really does. but this one is so convenient, esp since Simon can't drive bc he can't risk getting pulled over carrying a licence that doesn't have his face on it, and he's been going there for eight years and it's not like Baz will recognise him anyway.
so, to the bookshop he goes, but this time when Baz comes up to ask if he needs help, Simon is like, "haha, no that's okay," and goes back to looking for things on his own, and Baz kinda lingers awkwardly for a moment before going on his way, but then when Simon comes up to the till to pay for the book, Baz just stands there staring at him. and Simon is so uncomfortable, like, he just wants to leave—
"Simon?"
SORRY, YOU WHAT?
"What?" Simon gapes at him. "How did— how did you? But I'm—"
"Can we talk?" Baz asks.
"How did you know it was—"
Baz shouts over to the other employee on the floor that he's taking his lunch break, and Simon just slowly follows him out of the shop with the book forgotten, unpaid for, at the check-out.
and here's the deal, Baz liked Simon a stupid amount considering they'd only gone on two dates, but they were good dates, and Baz doesn't date much, so he's a bit hung up on just how much he liked Simon and the weird way shit ended, so he's basically like. i want to see it again. and Simon is like, see what? and Baz is like, you. the... whatever that you do, i want to see you change.
and that's how Simon ends up bringing Baz back to his flat, and btw: Simon has a rule about never bringing people back to his flat bc it's weird as fuck. his room is really tiny, and it's cluttered as fuck in a Howl's bedroom type way. he keeps to the same cheap, casual style for all his clothes, but he needs things in a bunch of sizes. shoes are a nightmare. he has to take care of his hair in a million different fucking ways. so he has the lives of a dozen people shoved into a room the size of a shoebox, and his mattress has no frame. that shit is just on the floor, so it takes up less space. and there's this mirror, a wide full bodied mirror, propped up against the wall facing the bed, so that the first thing Simon can do each day is roll over and look at himself.
Simon and Baz have supper together, they talk, they pretend this isn't weird as fuck and, even though it is weird as fuck, they still have so much chemistry, and this is a fanfic, so they just end up having sex again but it's supposed to be kinda emo and tender and look, it's what my heart wants, ok?
morning comes. Simon wakes to Baz's hands on his face. which is already and improvement compared to last time. Baz is looking at him very seriously, but also very like. softly. he's touching Simon's features, tracing them, and Simon is quiet for a very long time, watching him do this, until he's just like. what are you doing.
Baz: "Getting to know you." A pause. "Why does it happen?"
Simon: "I don't know."
Baz: "Are there other people like you?"
Simon: "I don't know."
Baz, sighing: "Well, what do you know?"
Simon: "That I'm still me. Inside, I mean. Like... if you had a book, and every day you gave it a new cover, the story wouldn't change."
Baz: "You must get lost on a lot of shelves."
Simon: "Yeah."
and from there, Baz is just a part of Simon's life the same way Penny is, he knows the truth, and he deals with it. for the first time in Simon's adult life, he gets to really date. he and Baz do a bunch of domestic shit together, for months, and it's so good. all of it is so good, all the time, and they fall so fucked up deep in love with each other.
(detail from this point that is relevant later: Baz and Simon make a game out of Baz recognising Simon at work on days when he hasn't seen yet what he looks like. Simon will come in and try to act like a stranger, but Baz can Where's Waldo him every time.)
but then Christmas comes. and Baz has to go home to see his family. and i don't have an exact idea of how this convo goes, only that it is not a fight of any kind, like, it is a normal convo about the holidays but Baz apologises to Simon during it for not telling his family about him, he says they'd want Baz to bring Simon home if he did (bc i just don't wanna fuck with homophobia in this so we've shot Malcolm with the ally beam) and he wouldn't know how to explain Simon's whole... thing to them, and Simon kinda realises that like. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz can bring home to his family. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz gets to have a normal life with.
SO SIMON GHOSTS HIM.
like, Baz comes back from his family's place, annoyed that Simon hasn't returned any of his texts or calls, only to find that Simon and Penny have literally fucking moved flats in the two weeks he's been gone. and obvs he's fucking devastated and confused by this and desperately trying to get Simon to respond to him, but he won't.
Simon goes out of his way to find a new bookshop to go to, and that's the end of things for about a week or so, and i haven't actually decided what happens here exactly, but the general idea i wanna go with is that Simon goes to the bookshop Baz works at just for the sake of seeing him, checking up on him, bc he misses him.
but remember that game they played? so yeah, Baz walks up to say his usual like, "hey, can I help you find anything?" but he fucking clocks Simon after like ten seconds.
scene change: they're in Simon's new flat, like maybe Baz demanded that if Simon is going to break up with him he owes it to him to do it goddamn properly, but i dunno. details, details. but they end up getting in a huge fucking fight and Simon reveals the reason he ghosted Baz was bc he realised Baz can't have a real life with him and Baz is like:
"You don't get to decide that for me! You're still you, you're still lovely—"
"You don't even know what I look like!"
"I don't care what you look like, you fucking moron, I care that you're Simon Snow! There's a person inside you that exists every day, even when everything else changes, and he's lovely. I love him. The rest doesn't matter, how can you not see that? Stop telling me I'm not allowed to love you however you are, I'll love you a hundred different ways, Simon. Any size, any shape. I'll love you over, and over, and over. That's a life for me. A real life for me. You!"
and then Simon throws his arms around Baz's neck and hugs him like he needs him to breathe and Baz clings to his shirt and they're both prolly crying all loud and gross, but it's fine. they're gonna be fine.
the next day: Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck. "Like this one, then?" he says.
"Loveliest yet." Baz brushes his knuckles over the slope of Simon's shoulder. "Freckles, curls, broad shoulders... Mmm, maybe we should stay in bed today."
Simon laughs and rolls over to pin Baz to the mattress, grinning at him. he goes to say something, prolly rib at him the way they do, but as he does he catches his reflection in that mirror he keeps by his bed and he freezes.
"Holy shit!" he shouts, and shoves himself up onto his knees. "That's me!"
Baz rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, I told you—"
Simon shakes his head furiously. "No, it's. Baz. I'm. Jesus fucking Christ, that's me. Baz, that's me."
Baz sits up slowly. "Do you mean—"
"Fuck, holy shit!" Simon grabs his curls with both hands. he hasn't touched these curls in ten fucking years. he looks older than he remembers himself, which is a given, but it's definitely him. his father's eyes, his mother's chin. the moles on his cheek, above his eyebrow, below his ear.
Simon freaks out in a way that kinda toes the line between being happy and being a breakdown, he throws himself at Baz, and they both fall back onto the bed and Simon is laughing and he's shaking and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it, but holy fuck, he has his own face, he has his own body, he has his own hands. Baz pushes them apart so he can get a look at him, and Simon is actually kinda self-conscious when he does, which is a new feeling. he never has to feel self-conscious about anything, usually, since he knows every flaw or insecurity isn't really his, and will be gone the next day, but this is just... him.
Baz takes Simon's face in his hands and then, breathlessly, "Hello, Simon Snow."
AND THEN THEY KISS bc what else would they do here.
and uhh, yeah. so. Simon goes out to the kitchen where Penny is making breakfast and she loses her shit when she sees him. big hugs all around. Baz really does take the day off work to spend it with Simon, even though that just means lying around on the sofa watching movies while Simon works on his current rebinding commission. when Penny gets home that evening, they order takeaway and sit around the lounge room playing boardgames together until late, late, late into the night. Penny falls asleep in the armchair, and now it's 3-am.
Simon is tired. he's looking at the clock, sitting with his knees up and his arms around them, with Baz beside him. Baz has his forehead on his shoulder, an arm around his waist. he doesn't want to go to bed, because what if... what if it was only for today. how long will it be until the next time? what if there is no next time, what if, what if—
"We'll still be here," Baz whispers, exhausted. "And you'll still be you. No matter what, Simon."
and so they go to bed.
Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck.
"Good morning, Simon Snow."
AND YEAH, that is the entire plot of my The Beauty Inside AU.
i told you this was gonna be a long one, but if you've made it all the way to the end of this mess, thank you kindly again for indulging me!
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